Naturale
In this era of photoshop, plastic surgery and amazing make-up skills/products, so many of us have forgotten how to accept our imperfections as it is but have instead, settle for 'solutions' that goes around the problem instead of solving it.
The ugly proclaim themselves perfect from behind that powder mask and the those inconfident declare their rebirth through deception.
Is it wrong? Why isn't it right? Does it matter if these solutions can get you around the problem long enough to render the problem non-existent? Does it matter if it helps you find yourself even though society dictates that it is 'unnatural'?
I'm all for the natural look though; I'm just doing a min-debate in my mind on why am I taking the negative stand towards this issue.
Irrelevant thoughts again eh.
Update
Post-exams chillout was real fun. JX + Marcus + Mano is really the lethal combination for a great laugh.
Mahjong session was not cool though. Because I lost money. 此仇不报非君子. Roar.
I need to plan my next semester's timetable by 10th next month. STARS nightmare all over again ahhhhhh~
Random thought
Would you rather be smart and ugly, or good-looking but dumb? (For the sake of it, assume the fallacy of fairness)
If you ask me, a good-looking person can pretend to be smart to cover up his stupidity and somehow get away from anything but a smart person cannot pretend to be good-looking because that only makes him a delusional snob. So the choice's pretty obvious.
Then again, if he can pretend to be smart, he's not that stupid afterall.
I don't mind waking up one day and be good-looking and dumb for a few days though. It'll be interesting to note how it feels.
Ahh the bliss of holidays. You get to think about absolutely irrelevant stuff.
WOOO HOOO
I remember those dark, dark periods of my life. Trudging through the repetitive cycles of mugging everyday and mourning the lost of my glorious youth to the vile terror called 'A' Levels. Even then, after I made it through the ordeal, battered and bruised but still pretty alive, there was no celebration of our triumph.
But just now, minutes after my paper, I walked to my friends and we instinctively gave a collective WOOO-HOOO, hands raised, eyes bright and smiles wide, much to the chagrin of the others who still have papers*sniggers*.
I don't think I did as good for my papers as I should be. The first day where I had three papers really took a toll on me(I'm sniffing and croaking away now) and so, my concentration level for my preparation on Tuesday was too low to save my two papers today. There were a lot which I went through but didn't commit to memory because of reasons I do not wish to divulge.
Ok fine I was just lazy.
This has been an interesting semester. I've made quite a lot of tactical mistakes in studying and planning, but I made interesting friends along the way, for which I'm really glad about. The effort I made to MAKE myself study was immense. My writing speed has also slowed down significantly; I couldn't finish three of the papers. Can't say the 2 years of slacking in the army didn't do any damage now.
Oh well. It's over now and I'm really too lazy to worry or feel sad about them.
Holi holi holidays~ ~
Things to Do
Just a personal checklist.
I'm so tired that I can't even feel sad about screwing 2 of the 3 papers I did. Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and realise that today's a dream.
Out of my mind
Amidst the hopelessness, I saw a ray of light...
I thought that I can really survive the onslaught of three exam papers in one day, and that thought gave me hope and drive.
But then...
You despicable double-headed SONNAWABITCH.
Countdown to destruction
It's an interesting observation that I'm making such a big hoo-ha outta this exams. Considering how chill I used to be for exams in the past, with the exception of the life-determining 'O's and 'A's, this reaction is really quite peculiar.
Is it because of the fact that I've been out of touch with the pen-and-paper for two years that's making me nervous?
Or could it be that this panic stems from the insecurity I feel over this path I have deviate to, and the many talented people I've met?
Or perhaps it could be that I've changed in my two years in army, causing me to be obsessed with results and grades?
Only one thing is certain.
My BitTorrent download of 'Shaman King' is taking far too long.
After studying too much...
My brain flashed an error message just now:
"You are running low on disk space. Delete unwanted files to free up disk space."
And so I did.
Now I'm left with two folders. One is named 'Passwords'(1MB), the other is 'Personal information'(2MB).
Whoever you may be, I'm sorry, Friends(500kB).
Same crap, different day
You go in the system, blend in with everyone else and start fighting to get to the top of the mix so that we can advance.
It turns out that advancing means going into another blender, and the only difference between this one and the previous one is that this is bigger, more competitive and even more important. But at the end of the day, after going one whole round, we're all back to the same question we asked at the beginning: what's all these for?
MM Lee acknowledged that the system of teaching Chinese Language was wrong from the start. Years from now, hopefully someone else is going to go up the stage and say that the examination-centered system was wrong from the start.
Cut
I cut myself with a blade today.
It was painful. There was blood. But, strangely, it felt almost... liberating.
As if the stress and frustration had built up for so long that it couldn't find any other way to release itself.
But I know this is wrong. Very wrong.
So this will not happen again. I promise.
I promise I will buy a new shaver to replace the blunt one so it doesn't freaking cut me when I'm shaving.
Insecurity
"Only the truly insecure would know that it's such a haunting and lonely emotion. It's no use telling anyone about it because people can only say two things; "but you're good enough what", which you know is only the case either because you have successfully masked your flaws in front of them, or because they just want to make you feel better. Or they would say "just live with it, nobody's perfect", but you know too well how damn difficult it is."
-Reblogged from Grace
Can't find any other better way to describe how the past 13 weeks has been for me. Couple that with the inferiority complex and you get one hell of an emotional struggle.
Interesting how the education system makes the learning passion disappear so fast. Is it the system fault or are we too weak?
Oh well. Back to watching TV.
I should get used to being average
THE NEXT TIME, SOMEONE MENTIONS THE LETTER 'B' IN FRONT OF ME, I WILL RIP OUT YOUR THROAT, DECAPITATE YOU, CRUSH YOUR LIMBS, AND FEED WHATEVER THAT'S LEFT OF YOUR BODY TO THE DOGS IN SUNGEI GEDONG.
Well, looking on the bright side, at least I'm consistent.
Nothing better to talk about
Checking out 萧敬腾's new album, in which he is doing song covers instead of original songs. Surprising move, I thought he'll come up with an original one.
I'll listen to it and see how it is.
Update
Past two days of mugging in school has been far from productive. At this rate I wouldn't be able to make it on time. No thanks to screwed up exam timetable.
Time to try different tactic.
On a happier note, I won an apple pie and a Big Mac! Yay.
Chua Sin Kuan is having her party and her theme is occupations. I wish I can complain about how parties with themes are just plain irritating but that's just going to make me look like a spoilsport and uncle-like. Too bad exams are over already. Otherwise I'll just pon. HAHA.
DON'T expect me to come in my coffee-shop outfit though.
Happy!
I whine too much. But I guess that's a way of stress-relief. But I shall not be negative and post something positive and happy today!
Er.
...erm...wait
...eh there should be something...
GAHHHHH.
Contemplative
I should be panicking for my FINALS now.
But as of now, there are so many thoughts speeding in my mind that I'm kinda lost.
Hmmm.
Shameless Mugging
Because I do not wish to take back my results and wonder why didn't I try hard enough.
I'm not a talented or capable person. So I need to make it up with hard work.
Or at least this is what I want to believe, that hard work does pay off.
Quiz tomorrow! Hopefully I can wake up on time.
Changed my alarm clock ringtone to Super Junior's 'Sorry Sorry' because it's loud enough, and I wouldn't get pissed off by it because they're already apologizing to me for waking me up.
Au revoir!
A little respite
Just watched the Singapore Golden Melody awards on TV(Yes I'm supposed to be studying I know).
This year is slightly better, because even if some of the singers aren't exactly big-shots, at least they can sing. Better than the past years where boy-bands passing themselves off as musicians go on stage to 'prove' themselves by singing live. I can still remember how hard I laughed at Fahrenheit (sorry if you're a fan) then.
But its kinda obvious that the award is sort of losing their appeal. Just look at the dismal turn-out of artistes! That few years where 93.3 got blasted for their lack of fairness and controversial award choices really hurt their reputation.
I don't usually like 萧敬腾 but his performance was damn good. And Tanya Chua! After listening to her doing acoustics I think I want to marry her already. And then S.H.E came on stage and I came to my senses. Phew. Momentary infidelity.
That said, although I'm the hardcore Hebe-fan, I think having 五月天 as the last performer would be more appropriate in terms of musical achievements. And also, they should just keep the camera on Hebe. Don't know they pan and crab the camera so much for what.
Oh. On an unrelated side-note. CAN THEY STOP PLAYING TRAILERS OF THE CHANNEL U SHOW WITH CYNDI WANG INSIDE OR NOT?! Do they have any idea how much emotional distress are they causing me?
I have to dive/scramble/sprint/jump/claw/scream for the remote control every single time it airs lei. Bloody hell.
At the very least, censor her face lah.
The Final's Mug
And at the end of the day, it's just you against the world.
But help came in different ways, ways that I didn't imagine can happen. I am thankful to have met friends as such.
It's not as bleak as it seems. Let the rush begin.
Honesty
Lollipops turn into cigarettes. The innocent ones turn into sluts. Homework goes in the trash. Mobile phones are being used in class. Detention becomes suspension. Soda becomes vodka. Bikes become cars. Kisses turn into sex.
Remember when getting high meant swinging on the playground? When protection meant wearing a helmet? When the worst things you could get from boys were cooties? Dad’s shoulders were the highest place on earth and mum was your hero? Your worst enemies were your siblings. Race issues were about who ran the fastest. War was only a card game. And the only drug you knew was cough medicine. When wearing a skirt didn’t make you a slut. The most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees, and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow?
And we couldn’t wait to grow up
-shotbyliz
You know, things would be so much simpler and clearer if we could all just come together and say whatever's on our mind face-to-face. Sort of like blaming rites where we just thrash things out. A lot of meaning gets lost in virtual reality and a lot of misunderstandings arise from misinterpretations of written words.
No hinting and demonizing Facebook statuses. No politics. No gossips
But we all know that's not possible. Because it is precisely due to the lack of honest communication that the world is in this current state.
I miss the days where we speak what we think. It's impulsive and potentially offending, but at least it's honest, frank and people need not worry about hypocrites around them. There's a lot to say, but there's a lot I have lost the courage to speak out loud.
We could all do with a bit more honesty.
Pants on fire
They(teachers, mainly) have been telling me since secondary school, that after JC and in University, it'll be much better and I'll have loads of fun.
Now I just feel like going back to them and demand to know how much did MOE offer them to lie through their bloody teeth.
Maybe there really is a module on 'priming students' expectations so they don't drop out before University(because by then it'll be too late to drop)'.
PR
My inbox was spammed by the email from NTU 'strongly encouraging' me to do teachers' evaluation.
If you WANT people to do the damn thing, then just say it outright that you WANT it.
Irritating.
Sick
Sometimes you get emo so frequently you actually get sick of it.
Thank god for Dilbert and Youtube.
Oomph
I just had a minor heart seizure looking through the past year exam papers for my FINALS.
A minute of hopelessness washed over me and I felt my world went dark.
Then I realize it's just the cloud cover, so I went to turn on the lights.
