Bowling for Columbine
Stayed up to watched Michael Moore's Bowling for Columbine on Central; Columbine being the name of the high school in Colorado where 2 teenagers killed 13 people for nothing in 1999.
I think it was more of a movie than a documentary since it felt a bit too hyped and personal. But it was damn good insight into the country that has always looked as if it was the best. Surprisingly, the most memorable part was the irony of Marilyn Manson giving the most reasonable and heartfelt comments I've ever heard from the many interviewed.
The US is one screwed-up violent place if you ask me.
Internal config.
The first thought that came to my mind after seeing this picture for the first time after almost 2 years was: omg the face. Second thing was how everyone didn't change much, except the big head.
And in this case, it's not omg in the nice way, but omg in the omfg way.
Don't get me wrong I'm not going to start on a depressing streak of self-demeaning but just some honest opinions I really had and probably a little funny when you look back. You see, the stark-reality photos bring to you is the reason for people wanting(or not wanting) to have photos or look back even if they did.
We laugh at the geeky way we looked in the past, giggle at that friend who looked like he just got out of a typhoon or wondered what made you took that photo in that state.
For me, this photo answered a lot of questions. Like why did that hot babe on Orchard didn't even bother to look my way back then, or perhaps why did that girl rejected me then, or why this stranger screamed when she turned back to me behind her.
Just joking. I think I was just trying to be funny with that face; amplifying the ugliness or sorts. Actually I'm doing this even till now, I guess that's my natural defence against taking photos. Not secured about how I look ma. If I looked like Takeshi Kaneshiro I'll be grinning like nobody's business in photos loh.
Being able to laugh at my photos though, that's a pretty good gauge of how good I feel about myself. And it's not feeling good in the way of being delusional, but being comfortable with reality.
I know someday there'll be someone who can look beyond the surface(ignore the surface, in other words); for now of course, I've got some internal configuration to work on.
烟草的味道
他爱她胜过自己生命的一切。 而她却爱自己远远多过爱他。。。
她不懂得爱人； 而他， 不懂得爱自己。
Many thanks to the 5 guys who turned up as promised. Basketball was pretty relaxing; with Jing Ngei providing the laughs as usual.
Came home and for the rest of the day I was practically doing nothing. It's just one of those days where you have stuff to do but you don't feel like doing; not emo-ing, but because you just sit there thinking about stuff you get emo.
The bad thing is that with this much thinking done the melancholy sinks kinda deep. So before I start getting overly depressed and make myself look like an attention-seeking whore(actually all bloggers are, to a certain extent), I shall sign off here.
Bang bang bang tsk tsk
Just when I thought Pakistan is going to have her moment of peace finally and Time magazine doesn't have to keep on whining about Musharraf or his pet army, Al Qaeda had to just go on and assassinate Benazir Bhutto, Pakistan's iconic former Prime Minister and arguably, the representation of democracy in the country.
I can almost taste what's Time magazine going to harp on about for the next few issues.
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D. Gray-Man started off as a pretty cool anime; a little dark which can't be helped due to the very nature of what the story is based on, and cool animes are usually heavy on emotions.
But up to this point the sorrow is heavier than I thought.
I could almost felt my heart twist after watching today's episode.
Anyway, meeting up with S28 peeps for basketball tomorrow morning! A little worried, as I always do when I organise outings. There's always that innate fear of people pang-seh-ing.
But you can't go far if you don't do something because you're afraid. It's like, stop eating because you're afraid of diarrhoea.
Omg I'm being so... positive. To me, outright positivity(means showing it publicly and very obviously) always feels like an act to make other people seeing your positivity form a good impression of you; almost like you're trying to get into the good books of everyone and so, make yourself popular. To me it feels fake actually. So I rarely show positivity to, well, keep it real in my own sense of the world.
Damn I'm weird. Warped thinking yes?
But I prefer myself like this.
Bastards
My friend and I were having a little chat in between work today and there was this funny thing he said.
"I think girls don't consider looks in a boyfriend..."
For a moment I thought he was praising girls for looking beyond the surface. Then he said, "I think they just judge them by how bastard they are."
I burst out laughing, because before this he was saying he know of a lot of bastardly guys with chio girlfriends; I replied that the bastardly guy probably just has another better side that we can't see, and the new topic of guys with double personalities when interacting with males and females came up.
Initially, I thought the theory of girls looking out for bastardly qualities made sense.
But I realise IT IS FLAWED.
Because lim peh still single lei.
PS: Just joking, in case a backlash from the female community occurs, the theory is meant entirely as a joke. We know better.
Ah hem
Ok, so it wasn't a surprise seeing Crist back in camp; he was posted to Brunei and supposed to stay there for a year. Neither was it a shock to know that he is in fact, drawing $1200 permonth EXCLUDING the NSF pay back in S'pore.
It is of course, not astonishing to hear him say that those in Taiwan are drawing $1600 per month EXCLUDING the NSF pay back in S'pore.
Ok.*takes deep breath* This phase is over and I shouldn't harp on it.*takes another deep breath* I am lucky to be still here to enjoy the comfort of familiarity.*draws yet another deep breath*
FUCKING HELL.
Excuse moi.
I am SO gonna get sued by Mediacorp one day
Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
A: Because you don't need the sun to get a tan when you have sine and cosine.
Now we know why some people are so white.*cough*
欧麦尬.
Seeing Youxi standing among the lightings and holding the cake, I almost felt that she was more chio than Hebe. And if you know me well, that is a VERY big compliment.
If any girl actually does that for me in real life har, I think I'll just... die.
Because well, they say that when life gives you something nice it'll take away something precious from you. In my case, my life's probably the only thing that worth that kind of gesture, HAHAHAZ.
But anyway, I'm talking about Witch Yoo Hee, the Korean show that is airing on Channel U, if you're like, blur. The show was nice enough since I started watching it(from halfway only actually), UNTIL TODAY.
I mean, the kidnapping and the one-man-hero-act is so... S'pore TV.
I swear on my head(though not as big as someONE's but still quite a heavyweight) that SBC MUST have sent their scriptwriters to infiltrate Korea and secretly re-wrote the later part of the script to bring down the standards of Korean drama.
CONFIRM GUARANTEE PLUS CHOP.
ORH. No wonder they won the Best Broadcaster(or something along that line) in Asia lah...
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This is like the worst X'Mas ever. And it's bad not because something bad happened, BUT BECAUSE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAPPENED AT ALL.
I should avoid such things. Or I'll start turning into those freakish geeks who have no outside life and hence, start having twisted minds, ogle at all girls, saying brainless stuff and doing pervertic acts.
Wait. I am not already doing all that... hor?
B-Ball
I looped 张惠妹's 我恨我爱你 3 times on my way to Toh Guan.
Watch live performance here.
Not that I'm experiencing anything similar, since my love life's as empty as it has always been for the past 19 years, it's just that songs as good as this strikes that emo chord in you even though it's old.
Life's really just about appreciating the small moments and savouring it; the money spent or how much time spent doesn't matter, it all boils down to capturing every moment of it and telling yourself how lucky you are to have a chance to taste that.
Went down to Toh Guan at 4 this evening to meet up with Wei Liang, 2Lt Chong Chee Wee and Wei Wen, whom I hadn't seen for ages and HE'S SLIM DOWN DAMN A LOT! Imagine, in the past(secondary school days), Wei Wen and Wei Liang are on par in terms of power and presence when playing in the basketball court, now Wei Wen is like, smaller compared to Wei Liang. Lesser power yes, but MORE SPEED OMG.
This is the gang whom I've played with countless times during sec 3 & 4(since sec 2 in Wei Liang and Chee Wee's case), and today just brought back a lot of the feelings back then. Like Wei Liang said, today's game was refreshing.
But everything comes with a price. One full court game with a few Filipinos and I was chiong-ing like siao. How siao? After the game I tried to play another one with some other people, then BOTH of my thighs started to cramp. Now my left foot is screaming from some unknown injury and my right foot whining from my previous sprain.
But for the game, and those playing it with me, it is all worth it.
Chee Wee kanna blocked.
世风日下...
I was a little taken aback by Kenny Sia's 'adventure' in Thailand where he actually took a picture with a transvestite with his/her/dammit-whatever boobs exposed.
Just for the record, I have absolutely nothing against transvestites; it's just that these people disgust me a little.(I am NOT being contradictory here)
I mean, ya, I understand the thing about democracy and free choices but it would be nice for them to stay low and keep out of the limelight; or keep their boobs for that matter.
I wonder how in the world can Kenny Sia tahan a transvestite! I mean for me, even a scantily-clad woman would be too much for me!
I would already feel pai seh about seeing pictures of woman dressed skimpily liao lor,
needless to say posing with a naked one lah.
TSk tsk tsk. These men ar, need to do some self-reflections ar*shakes head*.
Humour
It is traumatizing to be hugged by a gay.
It is equally traumatizing to have everyone, including ones who don't really know you, to laugh at your handwriting.
Seriously, for a moment there my ego was totally deflated and my self-esteem(or what's left of it) was totally eroded.
Then I started laughing at the ugliness of my handwriting. And I'm pretty much ok with it.
Besides, I'm already pretty good for someone who was hauled out from calligraphy classes in Primary school because my words were far too ugly OK? HAHAHAZ.
Cheers to self-deprecating humour! It makes my life easier.
Officer and still hawt!
You know the thing about being in the service vocation is that things are not as glamourous or epic as in combat vocations. It's almost like a banglas' job; you work but not many people know and even look down on you.
Last Saturday I attended the very eat-vinegar-provoking Officers' Commissioning parade under the invitation by 2Lt Chong Chee Wee.
Wei Liang, Sin Kuan, Leena and I went , and even before we got there things cropped up. The ferry bus didn't come and when we were on the verge of taking a cab, a bus miraculously appeared; apparently the bus driver is moonlighting to drive some guys going to the parade as well, so we got on too.
On the bus
We got there a bit too late and all the nice seats were already taken up.
Grumpy over lousy view.
Basically, the pictures I can take are only side-views and the to-be-officers all look like ants.
Poor usher; stand for so long.
Even during march pass the contingents were still looking very small. Very lousy seats indeed. There was a point when the parade commander asked the whole parade if they thought I was yan dao, and if they do they must bow their head down.
I knew officers have good eyesight.
And the parade proceeds as per normal~
Someone farted, so the guys in front are covering their noses.
Re-emerging after the weird Auld-Lang-Sang slow march.
I gotta admit, the No. 1 uniform really brought back many memories from secondary school days for me when I had the chance to don the uniform as well. I can only imagine that even for a mere NPCC cadet it already felt so prestigious, those capable bastards on the parade square must be all experiencing a prestigious orgasm already.
Similar to BMTC's Passing-Out Parade, there is a segment whereby the parents/friends get to go down and personally put on the rank for their sons/daughter. We dived into the crowd in search of Chee Wee and Jie Sheng. Was rather surprised to bump into Kenny there, whom I hadn't seen in a while.
Still having the rosy cheeks ahahahaz.
Found Chee Wee and basically, he was extremely exhilarated. How I know? He was literally jumping up and down like a kid.
2 Banglas(albeit one being a white bangla) and an officer.
She looks a little unwilling though...
Group photo!
Can't blame him though; took months of torture to get to where he is lei.
And with this I take this chance to formally introduce everyone of you to a living legend. The man who can do 40 chin-ups, run at the speed of light and can do a dunk like this:
The invincible, incorruptible, incorrigibleindefatigable, indestructible and impenetrable...
The indubitable idol of Sinkuan and infallible living conscience of Wei Liang...
JIE SHENG.
The one on the right, duh.
Ok fine. I'm exaggerating about someone I hardly know. But it's exactly because I don't know him that I can exaggerate about him right? So forgive me on this.
Anyway, Jie Sheng is a COMMANDO OFFICER. I think not just girls, guys would scream at that too. He's like someone who has been through Hell then go on to watch Star Awards 2007 as double punishment(Sharon Au and mis-given awards? That's hellish. ESPECIALLY Sharon Au).
The ceremony ended with every officer throwing their pick-caps(dunno how to spell, just going by its pronounciation) into the air and the parade square immediately transforms into every gay man's dream.
Hugging men all around
Speaking of gay men, I was brutally assaulted by one.
Very traumatizing indeed
After the orgycelebration the officers went off to have their dinner while we were ushered off to a different venue to have our dinner, which I would gratefully classify as a rip-off; 10 dollars and we get lousy food! It was almost like cookhouse food sia.
Obviously dissatisfied, we started doing stupid stuff, like making your friend embarrassed with the most handsome face EVER,
欧麦尬~
licking helpless insects...
unwilling photos...
and meaningless conversations.
Wei Liang even did his very own rendition of 喜怒哀乐, which I shan't put up here for fear of you laughing to death.
AND THIS IS IT FOLKS! Sorry for the rather disorganized post though; you know I ain't good with photo-blogging. I'll be uploading all the photos(including a few unglam ones) to my Wretch soon; but for now, I must get ready to return to camp.
A few days of leave really makes you feel like going AWOL.
PS: THIS POST IS PURELY ENTERTAINMENT AND CONTENTS MOSTLY JOKING, HENCE IT SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. Officers preaze don't knock me down preaze.
19 and still hawt!
"Need so many friends for what? A few true friends are more than enough."
-My mum
I never thought I'll agree with this. I used to think this is but a convenient excuse to be lazy in meeting new people. Of course, this doesn't mean I should be any more anti-social than I already am.
LOADS of photos to edit and upload! I swear my com is going to explode from the truckloads of cam-whoring photos from someONE and Voldemort.
For today, I shall entertain you with photos for my OG steamboat outing at Marina South on the 14th(my actual b'day) and the 2/4 outing yesterday.
The gang of about 8 of us(there was supposed to be 15; apparently my OGL understood the underlying principle and usefulness of white lies and sensational reporting) met up at Marina South for steamboat, which I hadn't done for a very long time.
Ming Xiong looking stunned.
Nothing much happened actually, it's just that Jin Chang(below, 1st guy from right) was freaking everyone out, especially himself, with his amazing knack for causing the oil to fly everywhere each time he scoops food from the steamboat.
Kai Chuan visibly worried about Jin Chang's new-found talent
After the steamboat, the guys went off for pool while Valerie went off first.
Once again, nothing much until before we left, some joker, I forgot who, drew this on the pool table with a chalk:
Then we realise we couldn't rub it off, and had to frantically pack up and leave the place.
Scramble!
And my birthday ended on very quiet and slightly abrupt note.
How abrupt? About as abrupt as how I'm going to jump to my next topic.
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Yesterday had a meet-up @ Cafe Cartel,
with the 2/4 clique, which was far more interesting, since everyone was attacking me(attack me leh, people rarely got chance to do that de lor) with Sharon Au and I was attacking Wei Liang for his immense intellectual deficit.
The 2 most zi lian persons.
SIR!
Sir sharing his photos. 抢镜-ing again.
I almost stuffed myself to death on the food; I don't know why but each time I eat out I either order lousy food or food with gigantous proportions. Damn suay lor. But when we went off to Secret Recipe for dessert, I didn't got the chance to complain for the first time!
My raspberry cheesecake was so divine, I almost felt blasphemous eating it.
Everyone(except Pristine since she's on a diet) enjoyed theirs as well.
Wei Liang and his White Macademia nut. He IS enjoying it, as constipated as he looks.
Sin kuan and her cheesecake.
Xiu Ming and her Choc Indulgence.
If you don't believe me, check out 2Lt Chong Chee Wee's orgasmic expression:
Plate-licking good~
Oh, and I got my first and only birthday present from someONE which comes in the form of a disc,
, inside containing a virus known as the Big Head Millennium Bug.
Now, all I have to do is to wait till the next millennium to release the bug and wreck chaos onto the world, MUAHAHAHAHHAAZ.
PS: 2Lt Chong's commissioning parade blogpost tomorrow!
WHY?
For so many years she has left already, bringing along with her all the pain, agony and suffering she has brought to me. Every time I see her it hurts, every time I hear her voice I recoil in pain.
There has never been anyone else who has brought so much agony to me, her every movement, every smile. So many times late in the night I had prayed so hard that she can just leave me, for she has driven me to the point of despair.
My prayers were answered.
But now, she has came back. Reminding me of the dark times, renewing all the emotions I have already forgotten.
Why?
Why is Sharon Au back?
靜止，不只是一種狀態
"很多事情很多情緒不提及不代表不著痕跡，也不代表已經完全過去了。 有時靜止不語，其實是更大的悲傷在滾動著。"
-Lemonz
I always feel that people who can cry are not the saddest, because they have a way to relieve their sadness, but those who've lost the ability to tear face the greatest sadness.
I've read 2 of her books; honestly speaking both books didn't make an impression on me. But I do remember she's pretty accurate when it comes to describing the display of emotions, and the above is proof of that. Click the link to read the article and you'll understand.
Update!
I have this insatiable need to shout, "YATTA~ I LOVE MY HOME~!".
Was in camp since Tuesday due to duties and it was the most productive stay-in I ever had. I finished my Time Magazines, which I was lagging in since Nov; finished half of the book by Kenjiro Haitani which is legendary because his previous book took me 2 months to finish; and clocked up enough emo hours to be declared emo-king.
I spent quite some time in the nights sitting alone and staring into space, and the only reason that I stopped emo-ing was because I started hearing strange sounds behind me and decided that I shouldn't give any beings a chance to appear.
But I'm home now! And I'm doing duty on the 23rd. 2 days before X'Mas. Woo-hoo~
崇拜
想念是会呼吸的痛。
那爱你， 就是痛到不能呼吸。
First thing I thought of the MTV was that it was very 梁静茹. I mean, there were many MTVs of hers that I couldn't understand and for this, I can't understand why is she singing to Wei Min.
Second thing I thought was that the church is damn nice, and they must have spent a humongous amount amount of money doing it up for the MTV.
Then I realised it looks real. Almost, too real.
So I did a little research and guess what turned out?
This, is real.
This chapel in Tomamu, Hokkaido, is called, quite literally, Church on Water. It was designed by Japanese architect Tadao Ando(who had no formal training in architecture or whatsoever but still made a name for himself with his designs), and it was built in 1988. The water under the cross is a result of a diversion of a nearby stream.
I am in awe. My life's wish was to see the aurora borealis; now, I would like to go to Hokkaido's Church on Water to witness and feel for myself, the magnificence of the architecture, before that.
Lala
I'm not supposed to be watching 公主小妹 because I have this intense hatred for a certain damn good-looking actor, but I'm doing it anyway. Xuete.
I like this new hobby of mine though I can't be sure if I can keep it up. Anyway, back to camp again tomorrow. Gotta admit, the life now is so much worse than a student's life, especially those in combat vocations; I think they have even worse life than mine.
I'm quite sure the future working life would somewhat be like this. No wonder I heard that Uni guys are generally more motivated when they get to study.
I reckon the transition from army to Uni is like from hell to heaven. I can't wait.
PS: 不能说的秘密 clinched 3 awards, including Most Outstanding Local film in the Golden Horse Awards. First time and jay's got this already. talented bastard.
Woo-hoo
I think I'm damn lucky to be a Sagittarian(xuete I spelled it wrongly AGAIN). Because without my inherent optimism I'll probably be seeing a psychiatrist already.
Yesterday I was feeling damn sian about my badly-timed guard duty and today, it's hardly affecting my mood at all despite losing 450ml of blood.
But I'm still gonna try getting someone to help me.
Well. How difficult can that be? Everyone in my company are doing 2 duties at least, everyone's clearing leave and my duty is on a SATURDAY(no normal human being watches over a camp where all the weapons hardly work on a sat).
Not difficult lah~
Random ramblings
And it starts in my soul,
And I lose all control.When you kiss my nose,When you kanna guard duty,
The feeling shows.
I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT
I never kenna lang-ga by lorry; I kanna lang-ga by guard duty on the 15th!!!
See how heartless the SAF is? During that period of time I have absolutely nothing on(no life la, to be blunt) except the 15th, and the 15th was the only day I made sure I was free to attend that something; in other words I was prepared to get duty on the other days.
And they had to put me on that day.
I love the army. I love this world. The army and the world has given me such a wonderful life.
I am so going to sign on.
Random
來不及 地球轉動不會為誰等候
來不及回頭 檢查舊的傷口
如果找藉口 想太多 沒結果 哭也沒用
Ooo.
My wife sang a rock song written by herself. Like god-like liddat.
I have a soft-spot for girls who can sing. I have a soft-spot for talented girls. I have a soft-spot for beautiful girls.
Damn I'm soft.
Of Duties and Honour(?)
I don't I have ever come so close to crying.
Apparently, my unit kenna a lot of guard duty slots to fill up(thanks to the bastards who ORD-ed) and we suay-suay tio New Year's Eve guard duty: one of the most depressing duties one can perform.
My DSM(someone who calls the shots if you don't know what tt means) needed to choose one suay-kia person to fill up the slot, hence he singled those people who DIDN'T apply leave on that day. Everyone around me started leaving, and I was left with two other guys looking as worried as I am.
As you may know, I'm hardly a lucky person(order the wrong food, meet the wrong people etc); so I knew that I'm more or less screwed if we were to draw lots. So there I sat, awaiting my doom and savouring the last moments of being free of duties
BUT HEAVEN IS FAIR! 倒霉 for so long finally give me a lucky break. In the end, my DSM made the decision instead and I was saved.
Phew.
So lucky scully tomorrow go out kenna lang-ga by lorry.
Lala
Getting myself involved in the JJ Alumni Night was less of enthusiasm and more of joining in on something my friends are in, since me not being an OGL has already given me a feeling that I missed out on a lot of stuff with them.
So right now I'm constantly having this voice at the back of head nagging at me and telling me NOT to screw up. So it doesn't help that the company who's supposed to send me quotations didn't.
I'm stressed over nothing. I need to sleep.
Random
I never have a problem finding fault with myself and understanding what made me as un-likeable as I was.
I used to have a problem dealing with the emotions that usually come with finding fault with myself and understanding what made me as un-likeable as I was.
Thankfully, point #1 has not changed, and I'm working on point #2.
