CHEENA songs time!
This is 梁文音's new song. Typical story of chio girl with an asshole of a boyfriend.
I love the new hairstyle, not 梁文音's but that of the female lead, 陈妍希. She looks so different from before! Could hardly recognize her. So much cuter now.
Anyway the song is major disappointment. Probably because the previous one was too good. And also because I think the 姚若隆＋陈小霞 'sure-hit' formula is losing its touch. Their song for Angela's album sucked too.
This is 林宥嘉's new emo song, 说谎. Absolutely love the lyrics and how he does the song totally fits the feeling. The MV's kinda weird though. Apparently the album, according to my friend, was a 'brave move'. I think it's probably because his style never was the conventional mainstream type. Hadn't heard the album yet, though.
To end off this rather unimportant post, please listen to Fish Leong's 我还记得 because it's damnnn nice and my recent favourite. Enjoy~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fwt63F7JQo&feature=related
Let the sprint begin
Laziness knows me by name, holds my hand and pains me to no end.
I'm not as 'devastated' as I would like myself to be from Thurday's revelation of results(because devastation=motivation). I guess it helps to verbalise those feelings.
However, I'm glad to know complacency is not in my blood, because while I'm verbally whining about the fact that I didn't do as well, I know very well that it's really my own fault. Or rather, my lack of ability. But I'm not going to go on about this. I'm sure I've thoroughly covered my feelings on my inferiority complex on this blog.
"Don't blame people for being better than you, blame yourself for not working hard enough."
I just have a steeper learning curve, that's all.
3 weeks to FINALS. It's time to stop taking those afternoon naps haha.
Drinking's fun but clearing vomit isn't
There are many different types of drunk people.
There are the uninteresting ones who gets knocked out and sleeps.
And then there are the funny ones who forget who they are and do stupid stuff.
And then and then, there are the uber funny peopl who turn bright red, do things like trying to screw the Sprite bottle cap onto the Vodka bottle(I'm still laughing at this, still); after puking their guts out say that they aren't drunk, then go back and lie down to sleep. All the while, the person's in the red.
Thank you all for filling up my time and stop all those negative feelings from haunting me.
Thursdays
Tomorrow is going be a weary long day. Tutorial to work on graded assignment, immediately followed by a graded quiz, and closely followed by a lecture in which I probably will get my graded paper back.
The last one's the bomb, actually.
I don't CARE if I get a B or even a fail. All I'm asking for, really, is to do better than those who can't differentiate Gimli from the Balrog. I don't mean to be mean. But it's just... insulting.
And I'm not hoping for them to do badly ok?
I'm just hoping to do better than them.*cough*
Mass(ive failure of) Communication
The Father kind of disappointed me. Aren't we family?
COM201 has outdone itself with today's lecture: a lecturer who speaks using incomprehensible sentence structures and a pseudo Hong-Kong/Taiwanese/American accent. Ronald Rice would be glad to know he is sorely missed.
We pay school fees and we have to put up with excessive ATs, bad canteen (B) food, grumpy bus drivers who drifts the bus at every turn and now, lecturers who can't speak properly.
They say when you can, do; when you can't, teach. But the problem here is that these lecturers can't teach! It doesn't matter to us whether or not these people got their PhDs from the States, or if they've been knighted by the French. It's ridiculous when they have problem talking to us when this is a Communications lecture in the first place!
That being said, I tried very very very hard not to laugh-out-loud today because I think that my articulation of the English language is nowhere good enough for me to be laughing at someone else. And also, I'm trying hard not to be the spoilt and ungrateful Singaporean I usually detest.
But 'ong-lai mee-diah'(online media), 'passive potato'(yes she said that, I don't know why either) and 'I S/U'(I ask you) is TOO MUCH, even for Singlish-speaking uncle like me.
Practicality
Philosophers spend their time wondering if the glass of water is half empty or half full.
Realists, like me, will drink the goddamn glass of water and refill it.
Stop complaining and do something about it!
The Eye
I liken my current state as being in a storm: because I'm now in the eye of the storm, everything is calm and quiet, and the pressure is low.
When the eye passes, the storm of FINALS (always spelled with Caps, always) washes over me and the pressure comes back on again.
After six years of last minute mugging for exams/tests, I now have the spare time to get prepared early and take things easy. For example, I practically slacked this whole weekend when exams are a month away and quiz next week! But I have zero commitments and slack modules, so it shouldn't last long.
Nike+ Human Race
Right now, I'm sitting on my cosy bed with the air-conditioner on and my lifeless legs stretched out in front of me. I'm feeling like Professor X already.
Nike Human Race was so-so. I didn't like the route because there were a lot of bottle-necks that caused everyone to pack together and I had to maneuver my way around. Major disappointment for me was meeting Lilo & Stitch after the 5KM mark.
I struggled with the stitch until mid-way between the seventh and eighth mark where i gave up and walked to the ninth kilometre mark before I started running again. Well at least I have the chance to stuff my intestines and stomach back to where they belong after puking them out along the way.
Left starting point at 6 minutes, reached at the 75th minute. So that's a 69 minutes run. Good? Considering the fact that I did some training before the race, it's not what I would expect. Major improvement? Duh, I took 105 minutes when I ran 10KM in Army Half-Marathon last year.
While I chill-laxed alone and went off to get my free massage, the other 3 Bocellians were looking for me (because I was gone for 45 minutes) and wondering if I was dead.
Well I'm still alive, unfortunately.
Kushinbo afterwards was awesome because jxshasha was there to entertain us.
I'm too tired to type an interesting entry.
Off to sleep while I download Glee Ep. 8! Ciao.
Crisis
I believe in justice. Not the judiciary system, or lawyers either(duh). My justice comes in the form of karma.
That those who do evil will be punished eventually; and the ones who remain true to themselves and do what is right will be rewarded, eventually, even if no one knows/sees it.
Hello NTU.
When you said you'll deduct money from my bank account for the miscellaneous fees, you did it and you did it on time. Like, zun zun 12 o'clock.
Then you said you'll wire my pay to me mid-October; you're one week late. Take money so punctual, give money you dilly-dally.
Bloody blood suckers. How am I going to survive this week with $6 in my account.
Clarification
I should clarify, for those who feel that I'm emo boy and on the verge of suicide, I'M NOT.
Because this is a blog, I throw out my crap/shit/emo feelings here. And after throwing them out, there is no need for me to emo in real life. This is how I use my blog.
If you see me looking emo/sad, THAT IS MY DEFAULT LOOK. If you see me staring off into blank space looking emo/sad. I'M JUST SPACING OUT. Really. Either that or I'm thinking what time to sleep later at night.
But thank you for your concern, really.
I'm better than I look.
Light!
I think... I can see the light that is the December month-long break at the end of the tunnel already!
Oh wait. I think the light of the oncoming train called FINALS should reach me first.
Taking chances
Isn't life about taking your chances? Doing what you love most? Standing up for what you believe in?
Why am I in University? I'm here because I have an obligation to fulfill to my parents for the effort/money they've spent in putting me through the education system, and I don't blame them at all. I'm here IN Wee Kim Wee School because while fulfilling my obligation, at least I'll do something that I'm genuinely interested in, and not just for the sake of it.
I like what I'm doing right now, even though it doesn't seem like I'm doing very well in terms of grades.
I don't like feeling like a idiot when writing a Chinese article, but I like how I'm learning real and practical stuff from Kang Wei, who is genuinely offering me help.
What I don't like now, is how I'm thinking. All that negativity towards people, it's heavy stuff.
Time to (try to) throw out this monster in me.
Emo post...?
I feel a little weird now.
Like something's missing. Gone.
Feels like I'm craving for something. Something others have and I don't.
My heart feels a little... hungry?
Oh, it's just my stomach. Supper time!
Friends and hypocrites
I do not like the fact that you act all friendly and warm in front of me, and then you go on and say shit about me behind my back.
I know it's highly probable that most people might be doing that to me and let's face it, how many of us out there do it?
I do my best to make sure that I show it to you if I'm not interested in interacting with you. I don't like acting friendly with someone I genuinely don't like, nor do I say things behind your back that I wouldn't dare say it to your face. I'm a bastard for doing that but at least I'm not a two-faced hypocrite. And this is also how I show my respect to those I consider as friends.
I thought you were a worthy friend. Perhaps I've misjudged you.
Bleah
Having dizzy spells and feels really empty because I puked everything out. I'm pretty sure it's due to the measly 2 hours' worth of sleep I had today.
Had my GV12 mid-terms today and for the first time in 2 years, I wrote so many words in pen and paper! Last time in GP ask me write 2 pages I feel like dying already; today I coughed up a 4-page paper without feeling like tearing out the whatever's left of my hair.
The amazing thing was that I thoroughly enjoyed the challenge(yes, ENJOYED) because firstly, it's a cinematic techniques' analysis on Lord of The Rings which I am so familiar with, and secondly, I actually know what I'm doing. It doesn't matter how good/bad I'll do but since I enjoyed it, it shouldn't be too bad.
Ok my hair is dry. Can sleep le.
Tomorrow's eventful day so hoppefully I can recover.
Collect race pack, outing with a few guys and my virgin experience of covering an event! Hope I don't screw up or anything.
See me in Hell
I've sinned so much and so deep that they needed to put up a website(http://wei-yuan.blogpsot.com) that advocates biblical stuff to counteract my evilness and stop the internet from plunging into eternal damnation.
If that's the case I'm wondering what are they doing to counter other blogs like Xiaxue's, Steven Lim's, Xueshasha and jxshasha's.
Wow. All of the sudden I feel so important.
Twitter
I think I know why people like Twitter.
Besides the fact that everyone(you friends, in general) sees your tweet and might probably reply to entertain you, or the few times when everyone unites to complain/ambush/laugh-at the punch line(most of time, it's the guy who talks about shopping excessively), there's also the added bonus of being able to see other people's conversations between each other if you actually are following them.
It's that pseudo-voyeurism that makes us so drawn to Twitter.
Do you feel that way? Or am I just being a dirty-minded uncle??
It's OVER.
So it was a frantic rush for me as I was left with a short amount of time to say whatever I was supposed to.
It felt like I got screwed but I'm not particularly peeved now that I think about it because I didn't think it was intentional, and I'm in too relaxed a mood to really bother about it.
It's just a speech anyway. I don't see the point of running over a friend for an honest misjudgment.
Move on. Move on.
On the art of finding directions
Attending birthday parties never felt so tiring.
On the way from Bugis to Balmoral Plaza we had to lose our way. No pressure at all; someone told me that the birthday girl was waiting for us to reach then will she cut the cake. That big-head lied of course, making us run for nothing.
Stayed till 10 plus, and then made our way down to Changi for party No. 2. And we had to lose our way there as well. *clap clap*
Drank a bit of red wine because uncle prefer Tiger.
Good thing supper at Simpang-Bedok wasn't that bad.
=========================================
That aside, the afternoon activity was slightly more interesting. I went to Malcolm's photo exhibition at the Arts House with er, 4 other Bocellians, and immersed myself in the arty-farty atmosphere. That's right, me at an arts exhibition. That's like having Michael Phelps in a Scrabble Competition (can spell C-A-N-N-A-B-I-S, Michael?); no link at all. But because I'm good at being a hypocrite, I can still look interested and nod my head without looking like an idiot.
Some of the works there were pretty good and comprehensible(Malcolm's work included) in the sense that we can actually understand how it relates to the theme and the underlying messages.
But going on to the ones that are entirely incomprehensible... I really think that artists should stop living in their own world when they're showing their works to the world. Hello, abstract art is not for everyone because hardly anyone can decipher the cryptic messages, so when you're showing it to the general public, the least the artist can do is to explain their OWN perspective?
If everyone puts up something abstract and tells you, "Oh, I wouldn't want to tell you what it means because I don't want to interfere in your interpretation of the work.", then the whole damn world can be abstract artists.
Hell, I'm going to come with my own masterpiece, then commit suicide to jack up the price of it(because artistic items gain value when the artist is dead).
The above picture is what I feel about the behaviour of NTU bus-drivers. I'm not documenting them(because they'll just close the door in my face anyway), it's just a general feeling towards them.
Go figure.
Broke bloke
So, is 500 Days of Summer a movie about Singapore? What happened to the remaining 230 Days of Rain?
I'm not going to lie.
ME DON'T LIKE BIRTHDAY PARTIES.
Because going to one means having to get a decent present, and not like you can just give the birthday boy/girl a dinner treat with six other people so that we can all get away without spending a lot of moolah.
GAHHH.
I'm just feeling stingy this morning.
Songs
And it will all be fine after tomorrow
Life is like a box of chocolates.
It melts down when you expose it to too much heat.
MLIA
"Youth is happy because it has the capacity to see beauty... Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old"
-loveyourchaos
That is why I'm aging 20 years faster than I should be. And I think it applies to jxshasha as well (people looking like rodents and wrong ends of experiments) HAHA.
I realise that I'm always in between conversations. Like how there will be 2 or more separate conversations in one big group, and I'll be sitting in between two of them. Which really helps because I'm training myself to listen to two different conversations with my left and right ear. This expands my database of gossips exponentially.
Time really flies, regardless of whether you're emo-ing or enjoying yourself.
Rain of pain
Sometimes it takes more than the rain to wash away the pain.
High and dry
WARNING: Boring and noisy self-reminder entry. Do not read if in jovial mood.
You know what, I QUIT THIS EMO BITCH.
The reason why I'm so... anal and demanding about my achievements (hello JC mindset) is simply because I'm insecure and constantly comparing myself to everyone around, all of whom seem so at ease with churning out powerful essays and writing wonderful articles. I look at them and i wonder to myself, they are that good, why can't I be up there with them?
And so, I tell myself that 'YES I CAN' and I ask sooo much of myself that every failure feels like a plunge into the abyss and I force myself to climb back up even when I'm still reeling from the previous impact because "everyone is flying ahead and YOU'RE LAGGING".
And why the hell am I doing this to myself? Because I'm just feeling inferior. I feel like I need to crawl extra hard to cover all that ground because I can't screw up. Because other people can just anyhow-suka-suka write something and it thrashes mine. That is NOT good for my almost-gone ego.
I keep telling myself that I will find my strength but somehow it has been eluding me rather successfully. I can only hope my optimism ('yes I can') can stay on top on my realistic judgment('No you can't so go study engineering') long enough otherwise I'm gonna snap like a rubber-band on high.
I sincerely hope that I'm not asking too much of myself. And I honestly wish that I can be as good as I think I can be.
Now. Let me try and relax and find that genuine smile back.
Forgiveness
"When deep injury is done to us, we never recover until we forgive. Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future."
We can forgive, but we never forget. We remember the pain, the suffering, the tears, and that hate towards the one who caused you all that pain. But forgiving is letting that hatred within that memory go, bleeding off the bad blood that clots up your life. So you can move on.
I remember a lot of things, although I choose to make it look like I've forgotten. There are still many things I would've done differently, some people I would remember to not forget; but there are some mistakes that I will still willingly make. Because to err is human, and that's how we grow wiser and stronger.
But sometimes certain memories however, stays with you. Like a curse that's eternally bound to you. Perhaps it is too early for me to say if I can ask for forgiveness.
But if you ask me, the most difficult person to ask for forgiveness is actually myself.
Get it?
Storms in Sicily, nukes in Iran, typhoon in Philippines(xuete spell wrong on 1st try), more deaths in Afghanistan and even worse, end of NTU recess week...
How to not feel depressed with the current state of the world?
When there's nothing to say, speak of nothing
I think I have nothing interesting to blog about. It's recess week, and it's meant for us to catch up on work, not catch up on life.
My interview with English teacher was crap. Not me though. Interesting how teachers can't seem to be able to organize his thoughts and viewpoints. It's not like hot babe who distracted him and made him all shy and nervous.
Ok time to sleep. My biological clock's all screwed up.
The toad en route to Pearly Gates
"In the end it doesn't really matter, because we all end up dead and buried/burnt anyway. The only difference is that I took the gamble of not believing in a god because I didn't feel like it and refused to conform. But so what if I lost the bet? Come to think of it, eternal damnation in Hell doesn't seem that bad compared to living as a human in this warped and unfair world again."
That's actually my thought when I was in the shower. I get a lot of inspirations in the shower but I usually step out of the bathroom only to forget about them. This is a rare case.
However, I'm putting it in inverted commas because these sound like words that came from someone else; I don't really believe that. Or at least not yet. I actually think it does matter in the end, just not in the where-I-go-afterwards way but of how I want to be remembered.
I don't know enough about Death, or Life, for that matter, to discern and decide which would be better.
Maybe St. Peter's waiting for you at the Pearly Gates. Perhaps you would need to drink the soup and get reincarnated into a toad. Or there could really be 72 virgins waiting for you if you blow yourself up. Or maybe, there really is nothing at all.
You never know.
