Visually displeasing
Wa lan OT till damn tired.
I had double eye-bags and rotting skin(I have either grease, diesel, dust, water or other industrial solvents on my face at any time) when I saw myself in the mirror lah. Last time I'm ugly enough to be rejected from Heaven; now I think I'm ugly enough to be rejected from Hell.
Dammit la. Usually people suan me ugly I get emo. Turned out now everytime suan myself until damn low self-esteem.
Scully one day buay tahan I really go cut my wrist. And the reason for my suicide is myself. HAHAHAz.
Siao.
U had me suicidal~ Suicidal~
Now that Kok Mun has left, there's no reason for me to live on anymore...
Just joking.
Cut myself while working today. Kinda hilarious actually, because when I first came out of the tank with my wrist bleeding, everyone looked at me with eyes wide open and shocked expressions. It wasn't a deep cut(cuz otherwise I'll be the one with a bloody shocked expression) but still I was 'rushed' to the Medical Centre.
Come to think of it, I'm pretty lucky. A few more mm and it'll cut into the artery le(it looks as if the cut is very minor but it's a bit deeper than you think), then it's GG for me.
Many overtime days coming up this week! Cannot play FF on PS2 le.
A Friend's Departure
与你分享的快乐胜过独自拥有,
WARNING: Long, corny 大道理s and emo stuff below. Don't read if you're the ang-moh, don't-like-cliche/corny stuff.
至今我仍深深感动.
好友如同一扇窗 能让视野不同.
It's not a good feeling to see someone have something that you always wanted. It's a fantastic feeling that your close friend gets a chance for a better job from his previous shitty job.
Contradictory, but what I'm sure is that it's so not nice to know that your brudder can't go on outings with you for the next year.
Pictures anyway! And this time it's good quality pictures leh. Sin Kuan, Wei Liang, Chee Wee and I took the train down to Changi Airport today to give Kok Mun, whose leaving for Taiwanto visit prostitutes for a year, a surprise.
抢镜头-ing again.
Guai lan face...
The surprise wasn't just going to send him off when we previously told him we aren't(don't think it was convincing in the first place), it was what we were all wearing:
Our very own clique-shirt!
After meeting up with Xiu Ming, Sin Yee and Pristine, we sat down with Jessica and Zhen Wei and had small talk while waiting for boarding. We joked around and played around as usual,
but when he really needed to leave, the atmosphere felt a bit different.
Maybe I being over-senstive, but it felt like everyone did the usual stuff which they will miss doing for a year.
Like Sin Yee making her final 撒娇-ing which Kok Mun would miss for a year...
Xiu Ming and her 寒冰绵掌 which Kok Mun can hide from for a year...
Wei Liang backstabbing him for ignoring him; which is something that wouldn't happen for the next year(ignoring him, not backstabbing)...
Being the only one busy recording and taking pictures, I felt kinda detached from the entire process. When he was gone Wei Liang said that he felt sad, but at that moment for me it felt... normal. I thought I'm damn heartless.
It is only now that I'm slowly rethinking and letting the emotions sink in that I'm getting that little bit emo. That said, I'd this little thought in my head back then, seeing so many people feeling sad about Kok Mun's departure, even if it's only for a year.
I'm not Kok Mun, but if I were him I wouldn't be sad for leaving, because the few girls there who were holding back tears and guys using their precious weekends specially to send him bears testimony to his good 人缘.
The party sending him off.
Friendships don't die easily as long as both parties have heart in the relationship; from what I can see, I'm sure nothing's gonna change much for the next year. Close friends will not drift far since the bond is so strong already,
The same stupid stuff we can all still do together,
A year isn't long at all. Really.
朋友 forever!!!!
The T-shirt's design
PS2
Answer to the joke? Because 豆沙包 got fillings while 馒头 doesn't.
It'll be funnier if u catch the joke by yourself; no fun if I make it obvious.
TIRED.
Returned home from day guard pretty late, tried to sleep but someONE's call woke me up when I just fell asleep, so didn't managed to get much rest.
Went over to Kok Mun's house to inherit his PS2 cuz he's passing on, i mean, going on to Taiwan and the tradition of stayovers must be continued. He's leaving tomorrow btw, and me, his best buddy, can't go there to send him off. Woot. Best friend indeed.
Now that the PS2 is with me, when KM comes back I'm gonna be like, "Eh, who you? I don't know you lah go away", AND THE PS2 WILL BE MINE, MINE FOREVER MUAHAHAHAHHAZ.
Hopefully I wouldn't have to stay-in since I now have so much stuff that I can do at home.
Heng ar
Back at the time when mankind doesn't exist, there were a pair of brothers called 豆沙包 & 馒头. How they come to existence would mean explaining how the father's dough and the mother's yeast come into contact to spark fermentation, so i shan't go into details.
One day, their parents suddenly die, and while only 豆沙包 kao-pei-kao-bu, 馒头 was visibly unaffected and emotionless; why?
Answer will be out when I feel like it.
PS: Those know one SHADDUP.
DAMN UNLUCKY CAN?
Some joker's wife happened to chose this week to give birth, and I happened to be the standby for the guy whose wife happened to chose this week to give birth, plus tomorrow happened to have early release for everyone including me who happened to be the standby for the guy whose wife happened to chose this week to give birth, so I need to do guard duty tomorrow night.
Sorry old blogging trick but it's hard to be creative when you kenna guard duty on a nice, beautiful, serene Friday night.
Fok man.
Radom
I know it's tough, especially for someone like me who has no background or talent(that I know of).
But hey, I'm trying to be positive lah.
So give the man some encouragement will 'ya?
Even if you totally can't understand what point am I trying to make here(chances are 100% of those who read this won't).
_
Why do I have this feeling from reading the ladies' blogs that Uni is damn xiong?
Not a good sign eh...
Carma
Kok Mun believes in karma, because he's getting good returns for the good things he's done. I believe in karma also leh, but only because I'm getting cursed for the evil deeds I've done.
Damn sian can? Every single thing is turning against me nowadays and the only reason why I'm not emo-ing is because I told myself I'm not. The fact is I am emo, but I hypnotize myself to be non-emo, hence I appear to be non-emo when I'm actually very emo.
It's complicated, I know.
Most of my close friends are going off somewhere, so for the next month or so I'll be very very much at home and be a 宅男. I think, the only reason why I'm still alive is because I'm at least eating vegetarian, so whoever-in-charge-of-karma doesn't have enough reason to kill me off. Or maybe I'm alive because 祸害遗千年.
Damn.
Then again, the reason why I'm eating vegetarian is because the non-Muslim food at my cook-house is like *beep*; which brings to my mind one question I've always wanted to ask but never quite remembered to:
Is someone doing a good deed out of selfish intentions considered a nice person?
Like, I'm eating vegetarian because the other food sucks but not because I want to save the animals. The end result is I saved some animals, but my motive wasn't that in the first place!
Or like, someone who does volunteer work because he wants to be seen as a nice person by girls(so he can jio girls easily) considered a nice person in essence? The end result is that he contributed to the society, but he did that because he had his own selfish reason.
In other words, does the end justify the motive?
Whenever there's a chance whereby I give up my seat to the elderly or pregnant, it's only because I didn't want to be seen as an apathetic teenager(I'm 18 only ok, still teenager) and not that I am nice. Then I'll feel bad 'cause I feel so selfish; when I don't give up my seat(when I'm too tired or lazy), I sulk the whole day berating myself for being so, again, selfish.
There are some who say that people doing good deeds with the wrong motives will not persevere because the 出发点 is wrong in the first place so they do not see enough sense to put up with the certain difficulties in doing good deeds.
But those who are really afraid of retribution will be a vegetarian all the way and those really despo ones(like erm, me?) will do volunteer work all the way also leh.
Wa lan. 做人很难咧; 做好人更难咯.
Update!
Yesterday was CO's Evening. In response to the local film, 881's success, the CO's Evening theme was getai.
I'm not sure if it's good or bad. Because getai so damn cheena and the songs were all blasted at full power(like all getais do), I a bit tahan because the speaker was next to my table nia.
But it was precisely because of that that made this event so heart-warming and the atmosphere so enjoyable. And as much as I don't like the Malay guys there for being so rowdy, I think we owe it to them for adding the extra shouts and cheers that made the event more fun.
There was a charity auction, and I thik I see what alcohol does to you.
First, an Xbox was auctioned and it was sold for $500. I wow-ed at that.
Later into the night when most had drank quite a lot(including me) they presented a poster, just a mere poster, and guess how much it went for?
Let me take the time to scroll my mouse to the text option and make the coming numbers largest font.
$1000
One poster nia, nothing except words, and it's bloody worth more than 2-and-a-half months' of my work.
And because I drank too much, I had to pang seh the outing after the event and went home to sleep.
Guess what time I slept till?
1PM this afternoon.
Oh the jubilation~ Oh the satisfaction~
_
DAMN TIRED.
Update tml~
COCK
I watched the Jay CHou's new MTV for his new song.
I admit he looks pretty good in cowboy suit. But the cock song, cock dance, cock pink-pony and cock lyrics? I was cringing so hard I swear my face became smaller.
I know it's experimental; but didn't anyone told him the experiment failed?
But I think quite a lot of people actually like the song. I don't know why. Either I'm weird or it's a case of 世人皆醉独我醒.
The former is more probable I guess.
Here's a REAL GOOD song. So good I shall use a very vulgar word, F*CKING NICE!
Sigh
I delayed the removal of my two crooked molars in the past because I had in mind the costs of the operation; in the army, I finally can remove them without having to burden the family.
But the price I have to pay is my right molar decaying(the crooked molar before it was remove traps food, even flossing was difficult for me). Indirectly, this caused me to be unable to clear my dental FFI, hence whatever that was left of my chance to be posted overseas could possibly be voided. Therefore, my hope of getting more exposure to the outside world is also gone.
Karma. I guess. Everything we do has a consequence. Then again, even if I had a chance to relive my life, I'll still do the same thing.
This turn of events is affecting me more than I thought.
*sigh*
Stayover X3
Usual stay-over, but this time we had 2 more members- Yi Fan and Kenneth.
Actually we're doing the same old thing over again; playing Naruto(and I own Wei Liang all the same), played Burnout, tried card games and I drop out halfway as usual. Things are getting a bit boring but the redeeming factor about this is that at least I'm doing the boring stuff with friends which made it less boring.
New card game; same old me giving up.
After that was the meeting for JJ Alumni Night which was both fun and productive(that sounds like a politically-correct statement I'm trying to make but I genuinely think that).
How productive it was?
Look what it produced.
To-do
I've dragged it for TOO LONG already.
Tomorrow onwards, must start making ticks on the to-do list!
No. 1 thing to do:
Get a to-do list.
0978366966
我要做你的十号男生。 但， ‘你’， 这个位置， 还没找到嘞。
I think, getting actresses with ultra-louya Mandarin plus louya acting kills practically everything in a show. And I think I'm really lucky compared to 童嘉蒂.
Jay Chou's new song is like COCK.
I can't believe one year of work and this kind of crap comes out.
I think people with low self-esteem are sad people.
Because I am.
HAHAHAHAHZ.
SIAO.
I don't think anyone understands what I'm trying to say.
我要做你的十号男生。 但， ‘你’， 这个位置， 还没找到嘞。
I think, getting actresses with ultra-louya Mandarin kills practically everything in a show. And I think I'm really lucky compared to 童嘉蒂.
Jay Chou's new song is like COCK.
I can't believe one year of work and this kind of crap comes out.
I think people with low self-esteem are sad people.
Because I am.
HAHAHAHAHZ.
SIAO.
I don't think anyone understands what I'm trying to say.
Lying Low
I believe in lying low, below the radar, because I think if i tried being high-profiled I'll just piss everyone off.
But the main reason is that I don't exactly have the positive assets(good-looks, good character, talents etc) or even the desire to be high-profiled.
I'm thinking like this because I'm using my buddy, Kok Mun as an example of what I cannot be. Unlike me, he's got the looks(as long as he doesn't cut BMT hairstyle and wear glasses that make him look old), the motivation for high achievements and possibly the hidden talent of becoming Singapore's next Rain.
That's why I think the route suitable for me is the opposite of his.
It's not absolute though. But so far, it's been proven accurate to me.
Sigh
Jay's album coming out at the end of the month! New song will be aired tomorrow morning!
Sorry for the lack of interesting stuff; I need interesting events to blog interesting stuff but life isn't exactly entertaining me.
In fact, I feel like I'm entertaining it instead.
Hey, Gorgeous!
Julian Hee is a bastard lah.
The way he carried himself and the way he suan-ed people was like me leh! The problem is, good-looking people like him(gotta admit he's got a pretty face; can't say the same for his character perhaps) cannot suan people like I do, because people are going to think that you're arrogant and will be pissed off.
I can suan people like I do because I'm ugly and people will probably forgive me because they'll be thinking I'm emotionally imbalanced due to being ugly and hence, suaning people is essential in keeping myself non-suicidal.
Even if people don't forgive me, it doesn't matter because nothing much is going to happen between me and the person because people don't like to be associated with ugly people.
What is the moral of the story?
Being ugly has a lot of benefits and everyone should just spit at Julian Hee
PS: I'm not serious lah. Except the part about Julian Hee of course.
Move it
I like 蔡深江's story that implies his views about Xiaxue that she's polluted.
But I like Xiaxue's reaction that comes in a form of a chim-chim chinese prose, although it isn't hers. Took me a while to really understand the individual meaning of each sentence sia.
Life's pretty much a standstill since enlistment. I feel as if I hadn't learn anything new since leaving school; the feeling of being stagnant isn't good.
What's worse is that I can't attribute the lack of progression to the army because I'm not entirely occupied by it.
Gotta move it.
Er
Did nothing much during stayover cuz I was too tired. Didn't eat much too with the double-combo of ulcers in my mouth.
But at least I had a fulfilling sleep(hadn't had one for a long time).
EMO today lah. Shan't talk much lest I start emo-ing here.
Yawn~
Love is like darts. Sometimes you throw a dart and completely miss. Sometimes you throw a dart and it sticks for a while, then falls off and lands on the ground with a click.
Most of the time you throw a dart, you don’t get anywhere near the bullseye. Which is probably true for a lot of other things, since optimality is rarely achieved. Then you walk up to the dartboard, collect your darts, and try again.
After a while though, walking up to the dartboard gets awfully tiring.
-Wilfred
I hardly threw darts, missed all, and I'm tired already.
Stayover at KM's house later on. But I'm damn tired. Morning played bball, and after that it was standing and working in the sun ALL the way till evening.
If you're living in the West you'll notice today's sun was merciless.
For a moment I thought I was working in Sudan instead of S'pore.
ATP
JUST CAME BACK FROM ATP!
Could've been worse if not for my sergeant dropping me near jurong and then, my dad to fetch me. And on the way back he was scolding me for taking a cab('wasting of money' according to him) instead of waking him up earlier in the morning to fetch me.
SIAO. Wake him up early in the morning at 5AM to fetch me to camp then next day morning 3AM to fetch me home, whichever god I meet when I die is gonna strangle me and let me die a 2nd time if I do that lah.
And by the way, sorry to disappoint but LIM PEH PASS ATP AR. Very epic, cuz @ the end I needed 3 more points, and I only had one station and that station only gives me 3 rounds. Means I MUST hit all.
Luckily I did.
Else I'll have to go back to the range AGAIN.
Cheeky
ATP tomorrow! With my back aching so badly, I don't think I can even pass, much less say getting marksmanship.
I'm singing along to K 歌之王; don't ask me why.
Now since even Crist in no-man's land has replied back. Perhaps it is time for the chio bu to argue back.
NOW, IF YOU'RE THE CHIO BU AND WANTS TO ARGUE BACK, YOU CAN ADD ME IN MSN AND SCOLD ME ALL YOU WANT. Hee hee.
Despot
This post feels so loserish leh, talking about chio bu like I damn despo.
Oh wait, I am.
Look what 19 years of singlehood does to you lah. Poi.
Something dramatic happened today.
You know those scenes in dramas whereby the male and female lead sees each other for the first time and sparks fly with the male lead falling hopelessly in love(for the older dramas la, nowadays one is the male and female leads are at loggerheads)?
When I saw the chio bu board the bus while I was heading to Ayer Rajar Camp for my IMT(Individual Marksmanship Training), it felt a bit like that; except that I'm not the male lead nor did I fall in love with her(just thought she really chio), and most importantly, she didn't give a *beep* about me.
Ok maybe she did. She must be thinking why the NSmen over there looks as if he was in pain(because it took every single ounce of the morality/decency/humanity/sanity/tahan-ity in me to at least, NOT stare at her).
Thankfully, I'd only need 2 more stops to alight so my internal conflict didn't had to drag.
And because of this chio bu, LIM PEH ALMOST FAIL MY IMT AR. In case you don't know, IMT is basically the electronic version of rifle shooting(no live rounds, no long waiting, no under-the-sun). So it takes a true genius to fail IMT.
Ok fine it's not her fault. But like I said before,
"I just needed someone to kao bei about and the person must be one who cannot argue back one."
