Haiz
This was the first time i got so pissed off by a prank.
This was the first time i got so pissed off and forgot about it after a day.
I guees boredom makes someone more forgivable.
COm still spoilt~
Update!
Due to the large amount of paint splashed on his door, writings of O$P$ outside his house, a few fingers chopped off and beatings that made him lost part of his mind, this blogger has temporarily absconded with $2 to M'sia where he will be staying there till the world ends and Zoe Tay gets her 2nd child.
In other words, my com is spoilt.
Argh.
Chalet
Just returned from class chalet. Pretty tired out. I slept on the first day, 'coz i didn't sleep the night before and would be godlike if i miss sleep that night as well. Don't think i missed out much then? Played mahjong like crazy the second day, and by night, we chiong movies.
The problem with being nocturnal is that in chalets, everyone around you would be sleeping except yourself. That's what happened on the 2nd night; when i really felt like a complete outcast, sleeping when others are awake and awake when others are sleeping. Of course, such lonely times means that i'll be thinking and drifting off by myself=sadness.
I realised something new about myself during the period of thinking. How good i am at deceiving myself, and really ignoring the truth until now. The italised paragraph basically is a penny out of the peanuts of thoughts i had, but that's the gist.
Sad. People who lie to themselves are not sad, 'coz they continue living in denial; but people who lie to themselves and then realise that they are lying are the true sad people.
Nevermind. The first step to solving a problem is to face it; that's what i'm doing now.
Sianz~
I like the way she laughs.
The way she pouts.
And the way her smile sparkles.
Trust.
What you hear about a person and what you see about a person can be two entirely different things sometimes.
I'm not that kind of person that can immediately see a person's good or bad traits upon knowing the person; it takes a lot of time on my part to do so, and there are many times when i know a person being not such a nice person through the mouths of others.
The problem with this is that i'm having an opinion of the person based on other's opinions of him. I can easily fall prey to vicious rumours spread by the person's enemies and miss a potential good friend.
Also, there can be a scenario where my personal opinion of the person differs from what i heard about other's opinions. This is when i get caught up between believing in myself or other's opinion.
Usually, if i believe the person would be one who is totally unlike what i've heard about, i'll just dismiss the rumours.
But if the person is a highly scheming person adept at hiding his true self...
Words are untrustworthy things. So is a person's intuition.
6am
6 am. Just reached home from the chat with kokmun and weiliang.
So intellectual it killed so many brain cells. Actually more on gossips.. Hahaz.
Go slp.. Later then blog on thoughts...
QUOTE OF THE DAY: People who think too much lead sad lives.
zZZz
If there is an organ in my body that will fail, my liver will be the first.
This 6am-12pm sleeping habit is going to kill me if i keep this up.
Yor.
Who says I've stopped blogging? Who believe that i actually can?
Lol. Actually, the thought of totally deleting the blog crossed my mind and i was quite sure on doing that. But, i thought i might regret it like last time, so moved it here to decide to carry on or just stop. Some asked if i've really stopped blogging, then i'll either reply with silence or lie that i did.
A few days later(which is today), i'm blogging again.
Ahahahhaz. I think i can never stop blogging till NS bah.
Reverted back to this skin because i think the original one not very compatible with chinese characters.
===================================
Quite a lot of events these past few days. Celebrations of birthdays etc.
My birthday surprise wasn't exactly surprising, reason one being hongyi gave it away, reason two is that i'm not an easily surprised person. Then again, it was fun there though i was basically in pain for the whole day due to the 2 blisters under my feet.
After that day was hongyi and bin hao's birthday celebration at ming xiong's house. Not bad, watched Chicken Little over there. Yesterday was my OG barbeque. It was fun, and i'm surprised i still feel all comfortable around all those long-time-no-see/talk de OG mates.Today we celebrated Ming xiong's birthday at Lot 1. I hate arcades; but endured it to give face to that noob ma. Later went on to play lan with the guys.
That's all ba. Better start doing homework le.
[Z]eRo.Dr3am[Z]
Perhaps the reason could be that it marked the end of a rather tough year for me. The end of a year that much change in me had to be made. So here i go on to recount the year's major occurences and some thoughts.
The year started pretty well actually, things seemed ok; only after the first three months did things started moving off-track. Dad couldn't change that stingy nature of his, so Mum had to go out to work. What came next was the gradual change in my friendships. Old friends were lost in contact, each settling into their new environments. That's what human nature is right? In a new environment, one tends to forget what happened in the past. Sadly, i too, did this.
Back to home issues, my sister was doing REALLY badly with her work, partly due to the lack of supervision by mum(and mine la). I got all the blame. I get scolded all the time and i'm numb to it, but that doesn't mean i don't feel guilty right? Hello? My family one lar, of course would care, however little that may be...
End of June holidays came the bulk of my problems. Its like everything just decided to shove themselves in my face all at once. Home, work, money, friendships, relationships... The presure was really stifling; almost killed me at that.
Till now, it seemed like everything in this year like shit right? No surprise pessimistic weiyuan would think that way.
No no no.. The year is still good in some ways de. The pressure made me 'grow up', matured la. Learning to deal with such troubles, as painful the process is, just really strengthens you. Also, i felt it changed my pessimism a little. My pessimism last time came mostly from inconfidence of myself, like thinking how-fugly-i-am or how-not-muscular-i-am sort of things. Now, its more of my view of things, like how i'll first think of the negative sides of things and sorta ignore the positive ones.
That's about all for the recounts ba.
=====================================
Some thoughts i have here.
"Getting yourself caught up in memories can be harmful"
"Sometimes, living in memories can be warm as well."
"记住该记住的，忘记该忘记的。改变能改变的，接受不能改变的"
=====================================
I stopped blogging half year ago because the blog can potentially depress me. Only a rather enticing reason came along to prompt me to blog again.
Blogging held many different meaning for me throughout this 2 years. I started blogging at a time where i desperately needed a medium to pour out my woes and gain attention from my peers, so my mindset was more of relying on other's attention. The blog slowly then became a place for my creativity to be showed(as puny as it is).
I have few stories that i am proud of, the old ones I've lost them, but this recent story is certainly one I'll label as a classic coz it took a lot of effort to type this. The layout was somewhat like the many short chinese stories i've seen before; what was special was that the DJ in the story wasn't initially meant to be the focus; and when i realise it could be, it made the story so much better by having songs incoporated into the couple's conversation
Sadly, it being a Chinese story either means people can't grasp the story or wouldn't bother to read. This entry, what i thought to be one of my bests, had little response. Sad.
======================================
My passion for blogging died 6 months ago; only a momentarily jolt of hope made it to be a zombie; one doomed to fall in time. And it falls today. I've really thought about it for weeks, somehow what happened around online made the decision for me. First was, like what mentioned above, the Chinese story didn't draw much response, that is very saddening for me, cuz i really like that story.
Then a few posts on my class blog totally went un-noticed, ignored. So i deleted them. Painful feeling.
Lastly, the blog's tagbox just grew kinda quiet lately.Like what Kok mun has also expressed, a blogger sometimes need to know the readers are there to keep writing. All that quietness here is.. deafening.
"有些事情本身我们无法控制，只好控制自己"
====================================
3.15 a.m le.
3 hours and 15 minutes into my new lease of life huh.
"能冲刷一切的除了眼泪，就是时间，以时间来推移感情，时间越长，冲突越淡，仿佛不断稀释的茶"
"生命中，不断地有人离开或进入。于是，看见的，看不见的；记住的，遗忘了。生命中，不断地有得到和失落。于是，看不见的，看见了；遗忘的，记住了。然而，看不见的，是不是就等于不存在？记住的，是不是永远不会消失？ "
What i only know is.
My path ahead is clearer le. 我不去想是否能够成功，既然选择了远方，便只顾风雨兼程；我不去想，身后会不会袭来寒风冷雨，既然目标是地平线，留给世界的只能是背影。
Good bye. And happy birthday to me=)
Update.
Tiring day. Met Kenneth and gang early morning for lan. Found out kok mun has returned to blogging. Then went Kenneth's house for bball.
Barefooted ar.
Created a blister the size of Saturn on my feet. Pain.
Tml going to meet Rubbish at 9 to go Sentosa. Exciting.
Gonna blog again in a few hours. Cya.
The end draws near.
Thx.
I was reading U-Weekly, where I saw at the end of the magazine was a Fengshui section. Erm... Damn lame right? No. 1: Like stating the obvious, the original sentence lists like all the possible disasters that can occur la. No. 2: Also the same, talk cock. No. 3: erm.. duh~. No. 4: Since when did China not have natural disasters big or small?. No. 5: Ya, no one can see Taiwan is having internal strife now and China is still trying to reclaim it. No. 6: Geography students, plz explain the positioning of Japan. No. 7: Whoa, we didn't know that. No. 8: Huh?! we tot the terrorists say they'll just bomb once? No. 9: M'sian police made China women strip naked and do squats, so must curse(but not directly) that Premier right? And if all that wasn't enough, No. 10 is bound to be the most inspiring of all. 10. Singapore will be peaceful; but still be slightly affected if other countries encounter disasters. Yey. Singaporeans first time have peace here.
Apparently, the shifu did a prediction for next year. I read and decided that evryone can be a shifu as well... Here are the ten predictions:
yawn..
Went to watch Harry Potter with yifan and cuimin just now.
In a more comfortable situation that is.
Anyway, the time of the year is coming soon and everyone's is waiting for it!
It's none other than my birthday!!!*chey*
Should be spending the entire 24hours outside of home. Make it special..
Nice~
Anyone got Five For Fighting's 100 Years?
I knew FFF had good songs, but i only knew 100 years was so nice; the piano totally rox!
Anyone got? I go your house kop... Hahaz..
Soon.
Soon.
Everything ends...
Soon~
Sorry, my thinking very scary de.
Read the news and notice one report.
There was this teenage couple in Hong Kong who commited suicide together.
Very tragic right? First reaction people should have is, "Oh my... Teenagers hor.. Dunno how to think like mature adults de lehz.. What happen to their parents? Their lives destroyed because they couldn't face up to the harsh reality and consequences of their actions.....blah blah".
All those moral values ar, filial piety ar, even country image would flood a person's thoughts on first look of the report.
As always, my twisted thinking simply forgo all those crap, and the thought echoed in my mind on seeing that report:
Able to die together, heck care about all those mundane worries. All in the name of Love...
Romantic seh~
Songs.
Mandopop was thriving in the past with the likes of Andy Lau and Jacky Cheung. Both sang nicely, and are regarded as pop sensations at that time.
Piracy appeared, and with the arrival of rather low-standard singers into the scene, all of the Mandarin singing stage is dragged down too.
Obviously, we can see now that many singers come out only to grab money and singing is of minor importance.
And i hate that.
Albums now have multiple versions coming out, so pious fans have to spend double or triple the money to support their idols.
Radio blaring with "老鼠爱大米"; then we have all sorts of different albums containing the same "老鼠爱大米" song, albeit different singers. If that wasn't crap enough, dear Guo Mei Mei decided that cockroaches are being forgotten and hence, sing of them in the new "不怕不怕". Wow. No wonder she's branded as Singapore's 勇敢女生. It does take quite a lot of courage to sing such crap.
5566, undeniably, were good. Take note of the past tense used. Because they did have nice songs, like "我难过", but what they're doing now is like so money-oriented. They have one album per year, and one concert per year. What's worse is that for their concerts they never sing live; not even for the ballads. They are cheating money la.
======================================
我听见你的声音
有种特别的感觉
让我不断想 不敢再忘记你
我记得有一个人
永远留在我心中
哪怕只能够这样的想你
如果真的有一天
爱情理想会实现
我会加倍努力好好对你永远不改变
不管路有多么远一定会让它实现
我会轻轻在你耳边对你说
我爱你 爱着你 就像老鼠爱大米
不管有多少风雨 我都会依然陪着你
我想你 想着你 不管有多么的苦
只要能让你开心 我什么都愿意 这样爱你
Look at the standard of these lyrics, then compare to the ones below.
狼牙月 伊人憔悴
我举杯 饮尽了风雪
是谁打翻前世柜 惹尘埃是非
缘字诀 几番轮回
你锁眉 哭红颜唤不回
纵然青史已经成灰 我爱不灭
繁华如三千东流水
我只取一瓢爱了解 只恋你化身的蝶
你发如雪 凄美了离别
我焚香感动了谁
邀明月让回忆皎洁 爱在月光下完美
你发如雪纷飞了眼泪
我等待苍老了谁
红尘醉 微醺的岁月
我用无悔刻永世爱你的碑
啦儿啦啦... 铜镜映无邪扎马尾 你若撒野今生我把酒奉陪
It's pretty obvious how big the difference is lar.
Jay's achievement comes not from his own talents only, it is also partly because of the low quality of the entire market itself.
For the time being, i hope Guo Mei Mei doesn't come out with anymore 'superb' songs. Please.
My Condolences.
I just found out about a terrible news.
One that shocked me dumbfolded.
The departure of a great being.
AN intellectual being's passing.
The death of Lee Kok Mun.........
's blog.
Aiya. One less educational blog to read le.
Relationships
BGRs are tough to fathom for the fact that they fall under the category of humans emotions, which is complicated like crap.(crap is complicated cuz they never make sense and ppl stil talk it, so how it works is complicated). What makes it worse is that a relationship takes 2, so there would be 2 cases of emotions to deal.
When it comes to love, conventional laws of humanity never will work and there can never be a Grand Unified Law for it. Opposites may not necessary attract, neither do similarity repel. Being generous and as a result, giving in frequently would not beget a good ending; neither does being stingy would necessarily result in spoilt relations.
I tried typing out arguements and examples for the scenarios i said above, but realise that, the topic is simply too broad. I tried to cite examples of couples with like personalities would have more cons than pros, then realise that the other extreme is possible too.
I guess when it comes to relationships, arguements and theories never quite work. Even the quote that coins have 2 sides don't apply; there can be thousands of possibilities for each case of couples.
Now, this is one thing I can't blog about. My take is that however hard, best to stay away bah.
update
Feels good to be holding the basketball under the hot sun playing with some old friends. My physical condition is like shit la. One match already half life gone.
So many things happening.
Not to me, but those around me.
I'll just stay(or act) cheerful and strong for them. That's like the only thing i can do lar.
=)
每一份感情都是一种缘分。从相遇到认识，从认识到相爱，更是可贵。
珍惜眼前人，不要遇到困难就放弃。
不管前景多么惨淡,没尝试争取就是对不起自己。
加油。
Zzzzzzzzz.
Its painful to know that whatever state I am in now is all because of my own choice.
Choice of not wanting to drag anyone down.
Zzzzzzz.
It looks like a choice, but the situation is like, you HAVE to choose that path. Many life choices are like that anyway.
Life's a bitch.
Changes
What i realise about myself is that i tend to deviate from the usual characteristics of a Saggitarius.
A Saggitarian is out-going, cheerful, optimistic... Obviously, quite some difference with what i am.
I'm not out-going, for the fact that i'm actually shy about one-on-one conversations though i usually go a little crazy when in groups. Cheerfulness and optimism was part of me, but that's in the past.
I guess there would always be deviations in systems, and i'm one. That's quite comforting, you know, to be someone special. Of course, I still share certain Saggitarian characteristics, for example, experiencing difficulty in spelling 'Saggitarius".
======================================
Some major changes lately. The internet's getting freakingly quiet, that's one thing. Another being that i'm starting to enjoy solitude.
In the past, i'm actully quite resentful of being alone in my room all the time, because it reminds me of some bad memories. But i'm starting to like being all alone in this house, quietly let my mind drift off to play chess with Zhou Gong.
Another thing is that i shed a few kg off despite the my recent spate of food-stuffing. Obviously, thanks to me damn healthy lifestyle. Must start doing some exercises or later get worse.
Belief
WARNING:Damn faggot boring long entry
Religion is basically a topic rarely talked of due to various reasons, one being the extreme responses that people would have, the other maybe being that it kills many brain cells to try and figure out things. I'm doing this to just share some thoughts i have and some that i've heard, and since i'm not famous, responses are minor issues.
How the concept of 'religion' arised is like asking a 3 year-old kid what i'll get by multiplying 563782395728 and 278279217462. Impossible. Why? Because there is no records in history out there that suggests of such a religion; and even if there is, none can be trusted. All we can do is do some humble predictions; like saying it came because of the early Man being ignorant of the natural occurences around them and hence, come up with a warped concept of unseen forces controlling these happenings. Another simply being its just in human nature. Pious believers would simply reply, "Coz there really is a God."
Mathematics taught us that should the very first step be wrong, the following steps would be wrong too. We have historians out there studying the history archives, books, scriptures for any trace of information that can suggest the authenticity of religions. But all these sources are man-made, and in my definition, man-made is the synonym of inaccuracy. So should the very initial sources are inaccurate, everything that follows gets off target as well.
Sadly, there really is no way to prove the accuracy of these sources, even if there is, another way must be needed to prove that the way of proving the records' accuracy is true.
======================================
The Beginning
Each religion have their own definitions of how the world began. The Chinese have the Pangu holding up the sky and earth who died to become the mountains/seas/forests and Nuwa who created the first Man out of mud(i wonder if that's how the word mudblood was coined). Christianity speaks of an Almighty God who created us. The former totally disregards the laws of complex molecules while the latter makes Superman look like a sissy.
What we learn from science that Universe came out of a soundless Big Bang and Earth arised from the silent explosion of a supernovae. It is because of this that the fancy stories of almighty beings become shaken.
I am more on the side of science becausen either Jesus or Buddha were my neighbours for me to know they exist; i believe in what can be seen or touched.
One way to try and refute the claim that an Almighty being is created was suggested by the Great kok mun; if God created Earth, then there must certainly be a higher being to create God, and for the creator of God requires another creator. The process is infinite. I(I, not kok mun) don't think that is possible.
=====================================
Does it matter?
Let us look at the books of religion. The Qur'an, the Bible, the Buddhist Scriptures(i'll just use Buddhism for this post). I know little of the Chinese scriptures(or even if there really is?), even lesser of the Muslims. So apologies for any discrepancies.
One common point in religions is the way it tries to convey the message of peace, harmony, benevolence and unity in humanity. Buddhism encourages believers to go vegen and abstain from various vices; Christianity encourages self-sacrifice(as what Jesus did), it also reminds believers about the 7 sins(Sloth, Gluttony, Avarice, Wrath, Lust, Pride, Envy), and to refrain from commiting these sins. I'm not sure about Islam, but i'm pretty sure it doesn't have "blow yourself up for me" in its teachings.
In my opinion, the function of religion itself is clearly explained by the contents in the books. Obviously, the religion is trying to bring humanity into progression by harmony; to attain that the people need someone or something which they will believe in and follow. Like what kokmun had said before, maybe there was an Order of good-hearted men in the past who decided that they need to do something to unite the people, and to attain that was to use the belief of people. The Bible/scriptures/Qur'an was then drawn up to contain teachings of benevolence and kindness and sorts of things that will make people tamed and nice.
The stories in the books may not matter at all; the characters in the books can be Wonder Woman and Bat girl, who cares? Ultimately, what matters are the beneficial things the teachings are trying to convey. Modern people are beginning to argue of the authenticity of the stories, mostly focused on Christianity due to its higher exposure in the media; which I don't really see any point in it.
All these religion troubles came from the complex thinking of humans ourselves. With progression came knowledge, with knowledge came kpo-ness suspicion of the Bible truths. Science people question the existence of God, if He has truly created the world, but what i'm more curious to know is, is that all so important? Doubting the contents of the books, does that mean that they should doubt the teachings too?
My point is, if the books themselves are trying to teach the followers things that are beneficial, why the hell care if the books are talking nonsense stories or not? As long as the followers come out as better citizens and stop pissing in the lifts, the contents no longer matters, doesn't it?
======================================
New worries
What i believe is that as this point of time, what we should worry is not about whether the books talk crap or not, but worry about how people are starting to take religions as.
The world has the Islamic extremists who blows up everyone; Singapore has the fanatics(some people) of City Harvest calling you every Sunday to pester you to go to Church and Xiaxue has some pastor trying to convert people to Christians at a friend's friend's funeral.
People are twisting the original kind intentions of religion into evil works; and its not going to be just one religion. Islamic extremists are the beginning, Christianity showing signs of fanatism, and soon all other religions are going to have their own twisted forms.
I'm think that more effort should be placed on keeping the people stay on the right way and not be overly enthusiastic instead of arguing if Mary Magdalene(?) were Jesus's wife.
======================================
To end this off, what i think that for whatever religion, believing in it and obsessed with it is 2 totally different things.
Of course, this post is not directed at any religion or race; its simply my expression of thoughts. I love Jesus, Buddha, Allah, every religion, everything......
besides Sharon Au.
Haiz......
I was flipping through the newspaper just now, and saw this report that made me utterly speechless.
Some girl cut her finger with a penknife during the 'O' level examination.
The newspaper. Report some girl cutting herself.
Even though there were a few others...
WHY ARE STUDENTS COMPLAINING ABOUT A CUT?
WHAT IS HAPPENING TO OUR YOUNGSTERS???????????
爱错
坠落的它他选择的逃脱
叶子失去小心 风才感觉寂寞
整个冬天 北风的痛没人能说
[Chorus:]
我从来没想过 我会这样做
从来没爱过 所以爱错
我从那里起飞 从那里降落
多少不能原谅的错却不能从来过
翻开回忆角落 忘记的生活
以为幸福都可以掌握
仔细回味当初 那个故事背后
喔原来是我 犯下从没真的爱过
[Chorus]
真的受未你的世界 找不会那些感觉
其实我不想到别 那些过去
[Chorus] 请你原谅我的爱错
Bored.
Contrary to popular belief, i actually have times when i was so troubled that i really want to find someone to pour out everything.
Of course, i still do now sometimes, but i usually juz keep it to myself till that longing passed and i can go on with life normally. One of the reasons that i don't find people to talk to is that i always think that they would be busy and bothering them would make them irritated. Another reason is that i'm basically ok with keeping things to myself even if it hurts; i'm too numbed le. But basically, that is just a minor reason, here explains the biggest reason.
I strongly encourage everyone to NOT be like me. It's not a nice feeling to have tons of problems kept to yourself; the pressure itself might would one day explode. For me, my body is specifically adapted for the le Chatelier's Proinciple; pressure would somehow be removed by my system automatically=)
Significance.
Impromptu outings rox.
Woke up at around 1 today for badminton at 2 with weiliang, km, yifan and cuimin.
That one insignificant.
After that we went for pool and i totally realise i should stick with basketball.
This one also insignificant.
The significant thing, is that some joker suggested steamboat after the pool, and the time then was about 6pm le.
Absolutely lunatic.
But the gang was crazy enough to go with the idea.
More significantly, we stayed back after the steamboat to talk a little on the philosophies in life.
I learned about the suggested 4 evolution stages of the Universe, being in love with love, that i was sensitive in suan-ing weiliang(sometimes) and that cuimin can't cook prawns.
Enjoyable=)
