Friday, March 31, 2006
Circumstances
I don't care. Because i'm not cared. This is my answer to your question. The unspoken answer.
Made some... let's just say adjustments on my part for the past week. Turns out pretty good. Not that I wanted the change, more of circumstances needed it; not tat i like the change, but more of circumstances needed me to embrace it.
Afterall, we are all victims of circumstances.
scribbled @7:05 PM;
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Lee Hsien Long
... our Prime Minister Lee Kuan yew ma...
-a very misleadedLiu Wen Long
Wow. I know i've missed out a lot in the papers the past few weeks; but i didn't know i miss out THIS much?!
PS: I know la, of course i know who our PM is la... Goh Chok Tong right? Haiyo~ Simple~
scribbled @7:24 PM;
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
87 out of 105
as a ranking is not something to be happy about.
My day could've been much better without him saying it. But being the usual bastard he is, he had to remind me of my stupidity.
It doesn't feel good to get a call while you're in the middle of your meal telling you to wait downstairs for her in 10 minutes time. Then you stand downstairs in the fucking cold environment and waited almost half an hour.
Then you get worried, yes, and the feeling of worry sux.
Then you walk in the fcuking cold rain all the way to the school with an umbrella that is too small, sees no one there and on the return trip seeing her happily skipping home with her friend, saying that she was delayed cuz she was 'talking to friends'.
After all this. All you got is a total drench for fcuking no reason.
And no, this time its different. You're not going to whine. You're not going to tell mum about this. Because you've given up already. You will always be the 'irresponsible, selfish, lazy, rude, never-doing-homework' boy.
You will only bother to say "Thank you".
Thank you so very much.
scribbled @8:33 PM;
Update
I don't feel like saying what just happened. I guess i'm pretty accustomed to being taken for granted.
Been reading the papers the past few days for a change due to my obviously-slipping GP results. As usual, nothing much in local news. Not even the elections! There's always been walk-overs in many constituencies and mine isn't left out; i think the last time my parents voted was like n years ago, where n=interger larger than 3. And then i saw what PAP is now aiming for. taking over the opposition held consituency of Potong Pasir. Wow.
And how is PAP wooing voters? Promise of upgrades, blablah. The sure-win formula of material comforts lor.
I f PAP succeeds then S'pore become ruled by PAP liaoz. Maybe PAP can liaison with Giordano and MacDonald's to extend their influence in every sector.
Even our stomachs.
PS: Juz joking la, HA-HA.
scribbled @5:20 PM;
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Woot!
"Stressed is desserts spelled backwards."
-my cousin's msn nick.
The beauty in Mathematics is that although it can get real tough, once you grasp the crux of it it becomes fun.
The happiness and exhilaration to realise you have finally grasp the concept and is now breezing through your tutorial just makes all the hard work all that worthwhile. This is why i took up double maths although i knew i wasn't 4 'A's stuff.
Another reason is i wanted to train my patience and determination. I don't like to lose, so when i lose i will bu fu qi, then wants to do better. But a lot of times i ended up being lazy and simply gave up if i lose out in something. So i needed to maximise on my 'bu fu shu' mindset; taking maths, when i see people being able to solve certain questions but i can't, i am spurred on by that. No matter how much i feel like giving up, this 'bu fu shu' de mindset when push me on.
I can't say its being totally useful, as my determination is far from strong. But at least i know its improving. Pressure does do good sometimes. Though i tend to push myself too hard.
But i think i'll be last person on Earth to commit suicide ba. Why? Cuz i have other modes of expressing my stress. For once, this blog is one. In the past i used to write about dying when the stress piles. Then i realise its nothing more than an empty threat, now i don't see the need to write that but use other phrasings instead.
==============================================
I feel so old nowadays.
I nagged at my sister instead of scolding now, and the contents of the nagging is the exact words my father used to have said. I can swear its word for word man. haiz. I guess reality's catching up.
PS:NEW SKIN! I like it. What you guys think?
scribbled @11:00 PM;
Monday, March 27, 2006
={
scribbled @9:44 PM;
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Random
Quote of the day: "Someone special to you will make you smile at the simplest thing the person does."
Went out with kokmun and weiliang as a belated celebration of kokmun's birthday. pretty usual, but enjoyable nonetheless. We ate at Crunchy Carrot at IMM, and i think its good! Not very expensive for such food, quantities are pretty generous, and its nice. Grab a bite there if you're looking for restaurant-style fare but pocket a bit tight.
Just a random update. Chem SPA tml. Dunno what i should i feel now... Not nervous. Wait and see lor.
Here's a funny Pocky commercial to lighten things up.
scribbled @11:12 PM;
Siao liao. No mood do work.
scribbled @2:37 PM;
Die la die.
Believe it or not, i have really thought seriously about my death. What else do you think i think about when i say i think a lot? That i think about things like the new Korean drama meh?
I'm not negative or anything, though i am feeling a bit down today, but this is not pessimism, just a practical outlook of life.
My ideal death would be a painless one, as most people would want it, and believe or not, its either I die before i go NS, or i don't at all till i'm old. Really, study for so long at least get A level cert go down there can get more recognition ma... Hahaz. If die before A level damn waste la. If die before NS good good, no need comform to the country's need for youths to show their patriotism and suffer; wasting 2 years of your life being a puppet of your superiors.
My only regret to die early, if i did die before NS, would be that i don't get to see my sister's graduation, and losing my friends. I wouldn't worry for my parents since i have my sister to take care of them in old age(she is fillial, i'm sure) and i think they'll cope good enough with my death. As for my friends, well, they are the people who made my life worthwhile, what a waste to leave them.
Maybe I'll write a letter sometime(and i mean it) soon. I mean, its best to state things clearly and say whatever you wanna say, cuz the fact is anyone can die anytime. God knows, this lousy computer can explode now and kill me instantly while i'm typing this.
Youth, 17, died due to explosion of his 3 year-old, Pentium 3 personal PC. Police spokesman says that they are currently looking into the matter and has classified it under death of unnatural cause.
"We do not have any leads on the matter yet, so it may be possible that it can be just a very unfortunate accident.One major question is why the boy is still using such a lousy computer."
What a lousy way to die.
Oops, out-of-point. As i was saying, we can die anytime, so getting ready for it is not pessimism, but being practical la. Call me pessimistic, whatever~ but this is what i believe as being practical.
Amidst of thinking about dying, it brings me to thinking what happens after it. Would we have the self-awareness like we were alive? Or would it simply be like when you sleep, totally losing conscious and falling into another dream(in my case, totally losing conscious and then, nothing, cuz i can't remember my dreams when i wake up and it feels like i felt asleep minutes ago)? What if got consciousness? Then i'll hafta go Hell lehz.
Let me procastinate here, why all people will go hell. You see, there are many different religions out there right? And of those, many states that if you don't believe in that particular religion, you go to hell. And since each person call only have one or less religion, then according to the other religions, WE ALL GO TO HELL.
Ok. So i go to hell. Will i feel pain? I think the punishments down there very harsh lehz, i scared pain. If got executive apartments and i tio the lower levels one jia lat la, closer to Earth's crust damn hot lehz. Somemore down there i think no air-con de lor. then go down handphone cfm no reception la, Singtel only cover islandwide, not islanddepth lehz. Kao. Dunno can bring mp3 player or not.
Maybe NS doesn't sound like such a bad idea after all.
scribbled @12:41 AM;
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Fishmonger
When young, my mum always said i am a selfish kid. And i agree.
I thought i changed.
Turns out that remained to be one of my major weakness.
Now im a selfish bastard. Hurhur.
scribbled @5:48 PM;
=)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U.
HAPPI BURFDAE TO U.
HAPPI BIRfDAY TO KOK MUN~~~~
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TO YOUUUUUUUU~~~
Woot! Old liaoz, kok mun. hahaz.
scribbled @12:48 PM;
Friday, March 24, 2006
天灰
2005年1２月１４日
女孩在网上的讨论区开了一个标题， “关于宋哲纬？”
每打一个字， 她的手总觉得非常沉重。 她问自己， 这样做有用吗？自己是想寻找这个人吗？ 还是。。。 只希望确定他的心意就够了？
(记忆一转， 回到了学生时代， 慢慢叙述。)
女孩带着口罩， 带着疲惫的身子， 低着头， 缓缓地在走廊上经过。
男孩在一旁看着她， 欲言又止。
女孩的朋友上前挽着她的手臂向前走。
男孩就这样， 看着女孩离开。
两人就这样， 擦身而过。
缘分已到， 但还是需要把握才会开花。
===========================================
2002年11月22日， 阴
“下午开始热了起来，大家都去上体育课了， 只剩我一个人， 心情有点灰。。。”
女孩坐在空无一人的教室， 拿着笔， 写着日记。 她只觉得， 没人会理会她， 整个世界仿佛只有自己一 个人而已。
男孩在对面， 同样寂静的教室里， 拿着笔， 凝视着女孩， 画起了女孩的肖像。
女孩坐在空无一人的教室， 拿着相机， 拍了许多照片。 只希望能把回忆都留在照片里。。。
男孩在对面， 同样寂静的教室里， 拿着画好的肖像， 不自觉的笑了
女孩躺在床上， 让护士注射点滴。
女孩的眼角， 留下了一滴泪。
是在痛， 还是累了？
===========================================
2002年1２月2日， 雨
“365 个打针吃药的日子， 什么时候才会停止？”
男孩把一瓶鲜奶放在女孩常去的宿舍露台上。
女孩来到， 只见到一瓶鲜奶孤独的站在栏上。
女孩坐到栏边拿起那瓶鲜奶时， 往下一看， 看到了楼下石地上画了一幅画。
男孩用了粉笔， 在石地上画了女孩的肖像。
但两人依然安静着。
女孩的害怕， 男孩的懦弱。
===========================================
2002年1２月3日，阴
“终于， 无法再上课了。”
女孩经过篮球场， 拿着相机， 最后一次远望着男孩。
她用相机把男孩的一举一动拍下。 每个眼神， 每个动作。
男孩继续打球， 尝试忘记自己昨日的胆小。
他看见女孩在远处缓缓离开。
隔这钢丝网， 男孩悲伤的目送她。
两人， 最后一次见面。
就这样。 结束了。
===========================================
2005年1２月3日，阴
“３年了。 1095个见不到男孩的日子。”
女孩已无法走动，只能躺在床上。 房间里， 贴满了他的照片。
她， 从未忘记过他。
爱恋变成怀念。
===========================================
女孩的标题有人回复了。
200６年1月3日 COCA: "我好像有个同学叫宋哲纬也。。"
200６年2月30日 小安: 他好像有继续画画， 后来毕业了考上美术系。。。"
标题回复着许多关于“宋哲纬”的， 但始终不是女孩找的男孩。
真的， 来不及了。。。
===========================================
200６年4月2日，晴
女孩的日记中断了。她的房间只剩下一张床， 男孩的照片， 还有那个时时刻刻等着标题回复的电脑。
女孩的笑容， 温婉的神情停留在她母亲手里的照片。
标题里， 写着来迟的回复。
"不管是落叶，
不管是阴天,
天灰永远会变成晴天。
你， 在找我吗？"
迟来的放晴。 人生， 就是如此爱作弄世人。
================================================
A bit 灰 today...
scribbled @10:19 PM;
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Optimism
It is getting really really difficult to remain optimistic with so much ahead.
In 2 to 3 weeks times, the 2 maths tests, the chemistry test, the physics test... And all that homework will rain down.
sigh
scribbled @5:31 PM;
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Woke up my idea.
JJ is a good school. Really. But not because of the staff, but more of the student. It develops you socially(that sounded strange, but nvm, u get me), you meet good people whose goal is not 'getting top no matter what' kind of thinking, and its close by.
But environment is a very very powerful factor and its bad influences just seeps into you without you knowing it. How many times have you heard teachers preaching to you, and then gives the ultimate quote: "Wake up your idea."
Did you realise the error in that?
ITS WRONG.
Literally, physically, ideally. WHATEVER. You don't/can't/won't/kneeever/unable/cannot/buay sai/bu ke yi wake up your idea one can?
You must be thinking to yourself why am i so worked up.
BECAUSE AFTER A YEAR OF LISTENING TO IT THEN I REALISE ITS FUNDAMENTALLY WRONG, DAMMIT.
I let that damn mistake past my guards and let the phrase lie safely inside mt well of vocabulary. If sinyee haven't mention that during the last meeting with the sec sch gang and Mr Ng said it today to remind me, I would have bloody well wrote 'why can't the right-to-lifers wake up their idea?" into my GP essay in A levels.
Then the examiner will laugh to death at the script, puking blood before his death in my script and destroying my precious( and funny, to a certain extent, since marker laughed) script, causing me to fail my GP. Then i will be left with 3 options. Take next yeat's paper as private candidate and sapping my parent's money dry as a result; go MI, or simply stay home and eat myself.
So people.
Wake up your idea and stop using that phrase.
PS: Come JJ english will deprove one. All the proof is in this post. See, one mistake in the 5th word of the sentence liaoz.
scribbled @10:36 PM;
Update.
I need a new com la.
Its getting harder and harder to live with this antique in this modern/cruel world.
"Its so sickening to be always the last few in the class."
-Anonymous.
scribbled @6:03 PM;
sigh*
Bah, way too tough to feel happy for our people when you are miserable!! You can't expect a begger to go like, "Wow, I am happy for you that you have food and lodgings!", right?
-Xiaxue gets a boyfriend!
So true...
================================================
I took a bad tumble today.
Not literally.
So sad. It would've been a nice score if i hadn't screwed up nitro.
scribbled @12:03 AM;
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
The Clearing.
You have heard me ratter about the Gunslinger, how close i am to finishing it. And today. 2 minutes i have.
If i want to.
Stephen King gave the Constant Reader(the ones who kept reading from Book One) a choice. Leave the ending as it had in the Epilogue of Susanah in New York, or to read on in Coda, Found.
I can tell you i am caught here. To read on? Or not? Am i satisfied, after these years of exploration?
I don't know. Not yet at least.
Endings are cruel things. They shut the doors to the room you entered at the beginning after you leave it. Then there it remains close for the rest of your life.
Will i regret the decision to read on?
Bastard King. Even the stories he weave must rhyme so beautifully with reality's beat.
I shall sleep. Attend school. Then make the decision.
Will this be my clearing?
scribbled @1:52 AM;
Monday, March 20, 2006
Campus Superstar!(updated)
I think Teresa looked damn pretty today. Didn't watch the first two girls perform; but i honestly don't think any of them would be near 34 marks. Zhiyang sang damn nice as well; 35.5 marks lehz.
I knew the contestants were mostly rich asses; BUT RENFRED IS BLARDY RICH. Look at his room! Bigger than my living room la. Look at his study table, equals my wardrode put horizontally la. And the fish pond, larger than my toilet can.
Enough said. Zhiyang goes out, i dun watch guys segment; Teresa out, i don't watch girl's segment. Both out, i don't watch the show and go to their forum to flame the finalists.
Ok. Maybe i'll forgo the flaming. Hahaz.
===================================================
YESSSSSSSSSSSS~
But im worried.
Renfred sell that house can win the competition liaoz leh.
HAHAHAZ.
scribbled @9:03 PM;
Nice song!
张惠妹-人质
我和你啊 存在一种危险关系
彼此挟持这另一部份的自己
本以为这完整了爱的定义
那就乖乖的守护着你
相爱变成猜忌怀疑的烂游戏
规则是要憋着呼吸越靠越近
但你的温柔是我唯一沉溺
你是爱我的 就不怕有缝隙
在我心上用力的开一枪
让一切归零在这声巨响
如果爱是说什么都不能放
我不挣扎 反正我也没差
人质在这一刻得到释放
相爱的纯粹落得如此下场
你满意吗 我们都别说谎
When i first heard this song, my reaction was this- 0_0.
Really, no joking, it sounded the same way 张惠妹 did when she sang those classics. Totally different from what she did in the recent years. Basically the song is using the situation of a hostage to describe a relationship where one party is suffering because the other refuses to let go.
在我心上用力的开一枪
让一切归零在这声巨响
I think this is a very very powerful and apt description... Not for myself, good analogy, in GP terms.
PS: Find it and listen, or you can get it from me if ya c me online.
================================================
And it felt ok to be in school today. Then again, who wouldn't feel that way after a good one week's rest?
One or two weeks down the road the tiredness would begin to seep in. Then its back to square one again..
scribbled @6:53 PM;
Ahhhh.
AHHHHHHHH.
I can't stop reading! Imagine u are reading this series of books for like 4 years, and the characters are being with you all these time, all 5 characters.
And in the first half of the book, 2 of them dies!!
Damn asshole leh Stephen King, always let his characters die one.
Let me tell you what's special about the book; the story uses almost ALL of the books Stephen King wrote, weaving the stories in those books into Gunslinger. Also, Stephen King actually met with this terrible accident which(i think) put him on the brink of death; HE PUT IT IN THE STORY AS WELL, AND ITS A RATHER IMPORTANT PART!!!
I CAN'T STOP READING LA. Tml die.
scribbled @1:39 AM;
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Ramblings.
The entire day i stayed in my room. Coming out only when necessary.
Not being sad or what. Just wanted to spent this nice, last day quietly.
Took the time to think through a lot of things. And let me talk this particular issue; Orientation.
Looking at my buddies, weiliang and kok mun talk about their OG just made me know how much i had missed out on. I feel even that tinge of jealousy. Know. Not realise, because i knew at the beginning that I will miss out on things. I made the decision to not go for Orientation because i knew how much is at stake there; how much I'm putting on the line.
I am not a 'smart' person, if smart-ness is defined on results. It will take a lot of effort on my part just to get a decent grade(decent , not fantastic), because this is who i am. Joining as an OGL would mean burning a lot of time during Orientation and after it with my OG; this is risky. Because i can't sit down at a table with my work for an entire day to revise it, neither am i consistent in my work.
And so, the choice lies ahead.
Join the Orientation and face the unforeseen consequences. Don't join, take the mundane path and try to keep up.
Great people succeed by doing the unknown, by thinking out of the box, by fighting the odds.
I am but a mundane being. I took the path that is clear and boring. I have too much to risk. Too much at stake.
This shall be a piece of memory I will be sad about; but not one that i will regret.
...N every choice comes with a consequence...
scribbled @10:20 PM;
Gangs of New York
Peace and stability comes with a price. Watching 'Gangs of New York' made me think what might be of me if i had been born in that era of chaos.
I like how the show depict the chaos so vividly; the discrimination; although i didn't like the gory parts. There's this scene when three different people were praying to the Lord, the rich, the evil and the vengeful.
Interesting that they were praying to the same Lord, but addressed him differently.
That aside, what's very movie-like about it is how the main characters lived on despite everyone around them dying. Looks pretty fake to me la.
============================================
Sunday!
Then the battle begins.
scribbled @1:32 AM;
Saturday, March 18, 2006
The Hair.
I confess that my fashion taste or whatever isn't good. Lousy even, but i know how to differentiate the good from the ugly.
While on the bus i saw an monstrosity in front of me-a man with long hair.
Not very long, just slightly over shoulder length. If i could i would've puked on his hair, like what happened in "My Sassy Girl".
Really, I don't understand these people lehz. If you look extremely yandao like Jerry Yen or someone vaguely handsome like Vanness Wu, maybe you'll look good(and even if you don't people still forgives you), but the problem is, if you look like the cross-breed between Gollum and ... a spider?, why the hell did you even consider going out, needless to say leaving long hair?
I know i know, they have their rights, their hair blahblah... I'm not pro-human-rights(not very, at least) so don't give me that. I have my right to whine right?
So, for those reading this and are considering leaving long hair, get something that reflects then decide. Otherwise... Erm, better don't.
PS: I thought of a cross breed between Gollum and spider having long hair, then this visual image came to my mind.
+ 
= 
Hahaz.. Sorry la. I just hate her can?
scribbled @4:35 PM;
Friday, March 17, 2006
Something is wrong wif the blog! A premature ending to it? Sad.
scribbled @7:08 PM;
Thursday, March 16, 2006
NS
Just got the letter from MINDEF calling me up for the check-up.
NS. Somehow, it being the torturous device to make us 'show our loyalty' to the country will stay as my definition.
A lot is going to be lost. A lot.
Suddenly a lot of things just became so important.
scribbled @5:57 PM;
Update!
Didn't managed to blog about yesterday due to the headache after i got home.
ANyway, yesterday wasfruitful. Physics prac was hellish for me; for someone who didn't sleep for one nite to look at those small-small squares, hin ar~ Lucky got a lot of time.. After that we went over to JP for food. Sadly, ulcers prevented me from having any of the food; all i could do was to sit there and stare.
After that, some delay and we went over to Sophie's house to bake cookies! Ok. I didn't, but give me some credit la, i took lotsa pics and videos there can~ Had fun, really, tho i didn't do anith with the cookies. On a side note, i kinda admire those who had someone they wanted to, somehow, 'dedicate' the cookies to. I didn't. Not any i could think of then. Zzzzz.
After that went off to meet the old gossip gang. Well, initially i didn't have high expectations of the gathering; cuz we've been apart for so long and all that...
Totally wrong. hahaz. Thoroughly enjoyed myself there, some good old brainless joking around.
On the way back home, on 180, passed the bus-stop i used to always wait for 180 when in CSS. Then remembered NDP. During the trainings at stadium and we'll return home so late, me and another bunch of guys would just wait at the bus-stop late in the nite...
I tried to remember what happened on National Day itself. Then realise i didn't know. A little blurred, the memory seems; only remembered it as the experience of the lifetime.
scribbled @11:12 AM;
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
YESSSSSS~
I think they showed this at the Oscars right? Don't know, i think its damn funny.
The man stood his ground.
"You must never draw, until you know how many are against you, or you've satisfied yourself that you can never know, or you've decided it's your day to die." His father has taught him.
He looked around at the monstrosities around, and felt the satisfaction.
As each bullet unloads from his gun, as each monster dropped down, as each second passes, the smile on his face broadens.
Even the shortest battle, from first shot to last falling body can seem like an eternity to those involved.
37 seconds after the first shot was fired, he fell. Along with him, countless others. Not nearly a fraction of what there was; but enough to make good his fall.
==========================================
Inspired by the Gunslinger books.
Went to the newly opened Jurong West library few days back. Big difference from what it used to be. But that's not the point. The point is, i found the last book to the Gunslinger series!
Shiok. I have 5 days to finish the remaining 800+ pages -_-
scribbled @11:59 AM;
Monday, March 13, 2006
Ironies.
Suicide is considered a crime; meaning if u jumped from like 25 storeys and don't die, you'll have to go to jail. True? I think so. Drugs dealers get the death penalty if the amount of drugs they carried exceeds a certain amount; the law argues that because these drugs endanger the lives of others, so its considered murder. Fair? I think so. You kill someone with the intention; you get the death penalty. Nothing much to argue.
But i don't know. Smokers smoke, knowing that eventually it causes cancer and their own demise; that's suicide? Smokers know the smoke they exhale causes others around to be smoking second-hand smoke, which can cause cancer in others as well, even at a faster rate; that's murder?
Then why smokers populate the streets and cigarettes are still being sold?
Ahhhh.... Double standards when it comes to $$.
scribbled @11:14 PM;
Update!
Pretty hard to describe what happened this morning.
Basically, having 3 hours of sleep before going to do 3 hour long GP common test and having to starve throughout into the afternoon is really a test of one's endurance and... well, mood.
Campus Superstar! Renfred win liao lor, yandao sing cute song... Think Teresa rox la, so steady... The rest disappointing la.. Results going to be unpredictable le..
scribbled @7:58 PM;
Update
12.30am.
My nose bleed has finally ceased.
12.38am.
And i just finished my TCA2.
12.39am.
I begin to prepare for the common test in 7 hrs time...
scribbled @12:36 AM;
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Sharing session
Today I met 2 nice people.
They are Aaron and Xiao Jun from the Calvary Bible-Presbyterian Church
Interesting to see me post something like that; since i'm a free-thinker.
Here's what happened. I was on my way to TPFC for lan*woot* when two persons looked in my direction to approach me. I thought they were going to do surveys. At that split second, i had a decision to make; if i siam, confirm no problem but like very rude; if don't siam, they take up precious time for my lan. I saw the girl, decided she quite prettyAnd so I decided to be nice, and do one for them.
Girl: Hi, can i take up some of your time? Just a while...
Me: Sure, no problem pretty.
And so the "survey" began with a question of "On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you grade the world?". Very interesting survery they have there i had thought. The next question basically gave the game away.
Girl: Ok then, do you know what are sins? or what are considered as sins?
Me: *curses silently*BAH. Must be Ci** Har**** people. Xiao liao.
But it turns out both were nice people. They are not Harvesters; they are actually Protestants(they said), so i presume Harvesters are Catholics. The survey turned from one-way into a discussion; while i begin to ask questions, the chio girl begin to disappear into the background, only occasionally popping out to say redundant things. The guy, Aaron, was coping pretty well; with his constant reiteration of "With faith..." and "Jesus Christ was sent to Earth to save us..." when he couldn't answer. He did give very good answers to a few question though.
Throughout the discussion i kept asking questions when he spoke about the beliefs, like the existence of Heaven and Hell, if doing good deeds to redeem oneself is really that wei da... I kept to a more neutral stand; scientific stand i probably would have made it a debate.
The discussion went on for like, 20 minutes? 15 perhaps. I didn't give my number(just in case), and i don't intend to keep in touch with himTHE GIRL NEVER LEAVE HER NUMBER.
I actually learn a lot from that discussion; not like its big or what, at least i know there are a lot of Christians out there who can be pretty open-minded. Faith is a very powerful thing.
Then its wonderful Dota-ing. Super-kser. Muahahahahahaz...
scribbled @2:28 AM;
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Bored.
The truth is...
I'm just an extra when they converse; nothing of which i can talk with, they share a far deeper bond and common topics.
There are some conversations which you can never tap in.
scribbled @2:16 PM;
Friday, March 10, 2006
感冒
总觉的用华文比较好表达。
今天过的超辛苦； 带着那莫名其妙的感冒跑步和打球辛苦到要命。 更惨的是我腰的隐患发作 最近常在痛， 还是避免打球好了。
不懂是不是感冒在搞鬼， 今天心情一直都灰灰的。 隐藏的好， 也没人看出。。。 假期 sia， 应该高兴的 leh。 以前的我， 不管假期功课多少， 假期后有多少测验， 我都会完全抛在脑后， 玩到爽。 现在的我， 好放不开。。。
还是，心里一直在的那块大石， 最近压的更沉重？
假期。很灰
scribbled @7:27 PM;
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Another day in a biased teacher's class.
In A levels hor, it should be easy for you FM students to get an A for your general Maths paper; if you let that A fly away hor(looks at weiyuan), then very wasted one.. I expect a few of you all here to get 4 'A's one harx...
Ah, Mian yang har.. Never get 5 'A's don't give you your result
slip next year har... Wenlong har.. Got potential.. Depends on whether you study or not... Beng Kian oso got potential... 4 'A's.... Jinlin oso, got potential.. At least 4 'A's ! Hongyi! Got potential, study well, can get 3'A's one...
*Looks at weiyuan*
He didn't say anything. I say for him.
"Wei yuan ar... Can pass jiu hao."
Seriously. I've never met such an inspiring teacher before. He never fails to be such a total bastard. Kok sin agrees too, since he's a victim as well.
As much as i'm trying to take it as a form of motivation. The damage is done=[
Thought of something while in lab today.
If biased teacher were a chemistry teacher
Ok class. Today's ester reaction is rather dangerous, so put on your goggles... Now, i want you to come up to the front.... Those got potential to get 'A' one, stand behind; those no potential one, please stand at the most front in case.................
静近的看
scribbled @7:00 PM;
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Random update.
Your Date of Birth: December 14, 1988
A Life Path 7 person is peaceful and affectionate. You are a deep thinker, with an intellectual, scientific and studious mind. A wise and spiritual person, all you ask for is a little quiet time to dissect your thoughts and ideas. You are very thorough, often a perfectionist, expecting everyone to meet your high standards of performance. Rather than accepting advice from another, you rely on your own experiences and intuition.
Wow. 7 sia, God's number. Hahaz... Anyway, not sure about the rest, but last sentence is so zhun! Try
it!
scribbled @7:21 PM;
sigh
Goner.
Gone were the days when i can treat tests as nothing more than a spreck of dirt.
Now. They just feel like a truckload of soil on me.
scribbled @5:32 PM;
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
CMI
I can't make it for the chem test tml.
Not because I am pessi or what; but leaving just one day to cram everything in is overestimationof myself on my part.
I am so fcuking disappointed in myself.
scribbled @11:55 PM;
Update.
Letting the sadness run beneath.
05s28 doesn't need people like me; it needs more wenlongs and
mingyangs.
So bad. Yet so true.
没有结果的等待。 慢慢的， 失去。
scribbled @5:56 PM;
Monday, March 06, 2006
Pigeons.. bleah..
I think pigeons are extremely rude creatures.
By providing these pigeons freedom to fly our skies and occasionally, even feed them. Yet these ungrateful things repay our immense benevolence with scoff and rude-ness. Not even a tad bit of gratitude.
Not only do they infest human-populated areas by gathering in large illegal groups(eg Boon Lay MRT), they would fly up at extremely low altitude, and will not hesitate to brush past human's hair. And when they like it, they will fly past right in front of you when you're walking, stopping you in your tracks bewildered. So damn rude right? Which decent flying animal will do that I say? Do eagles do that? No! Do bats do that? No! Even the cockroaches don't do that; they fly AT you. None but the pesky PIGEONS can be so rude. And if rudeness wasn't enough, the pigeons must show how uncivilised they are...
Pigeon 1: Shit, i feel like crapping..
Pigeon 2: Oh my~~ Look, a bald guy! You got your toilet.
Pigeon 1: Target locked on... Approaching target in T minus 5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. 1... FIRE!
Pigeon 2: MONSTER KILL! Tio pawned le la baldy.
Pigeon 1: *ahhhhhhh~* Shiok..
I haven't met one. But seeing all that pigeon shit on the ground, probability quite high lehz.
========================================
Campus Superstar is totally nice. The Yuyang whom i thought can't sing sang Jay's 'Feng' and did justice to the song. Adriano, though i sound gay, was cute. 'My Anata' fitted his style totally, like it was meant for him to sing. Best of all, when i listened to Zhiyang singing 'Yue Liang Dai Biao Shui De Xin', i thought it sounded like a CD la, SO BLARDY GD.
Yiyuan was boring.
Renfred? Haiz~~
I think the standard of the campus superstarlets is higher than those from Project Superstar de...
scribbled @9:08 PM;
sigh~
Sad.
12.32.
Still doing work.
So sad.
scribbled @12:25 AM;
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Adapt
The reason why i was quiet past few weeks ago because I couldn't adapt. Who can adapt to so much stress and that little sleep? Its the same as the time insomnia had me, those little hours of sleep put me on the verge of dying; but now, I'm coping damn well and doing good during those extra hours. The past few weeks ago. i experienc the stress of work like never before; the grades i had was horrendous, homework was terrifying, and my sleeping hours are not enough to cover the energy i expended in school.
But. The greatest characteristic one can have is adaptibility. As sucky things seemed, I'm holding on. Stress even greater on me, at least i can fake a smile out. To give a glimpse of my lack of sleep, i slept average 3 hours each day for last week. This weekend, its a surplus that i get to sleep past 7 hours, which is supposed to be normal/ideal sleeping hours.
I am adapting, mentally.
Physically wise.... I get the one-week holiday to hold it out.
How about after the holidays?
scribbled @1:40 PM;
Milo
Who says only famous bloggers get to be spokesman for famous products?
I can proudly declare that,
I AM THE FIRST STUDENT BLOGGER TO BE ENDORSED FOR A PRODUCT.
Muahahahahahhahaz..
PS: Joking nia~
scribbled @12:43 AM;
Saturday, March 04, 2006
Holding on somehow.
From what i can see. Everyone's under pressure.
Everyone's on our own, aren't we?
Because i'm not anyone else, i somwhow will keep thinking I am the worse off.
Lag in studies + low marks in test +... It is quite difficult to convince that anyone else can be worse off than me. Human nature to be selfish and think in ownself perspective ma.
But, i guess I should just stop whining about my own troubles.
One more week. And i can sleep in peace.
scribbled @1:39 AM;
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Rush Of Life
Why are sad people avoided?
Questions I'm asking as well.
I came to the thought that since the beginning of our lives(i define beginning when we are still a bunch of differentiated cells) we have been rushing.
For our birth we are rushed to grow within 9 months or die from malnutrition/too small/wadever~. When we are born, we are rushed to learn how to crawl, walk, play, run, crap in the toilet, say 'mama', say 'papa', say everything else besides 'mama' and 'papa', learn which toilet to go to, how to make friends, learn moral values... Within the short 6 years.
Then, we have to rush to learn addition, subtraction, multiplication, division, the multiplication table up to 9 then how to divide the damn things up, how to draw models, simple algebra, comprehension, cloze passage, simple geometry, Venn diagrams, types of leaves, type of trees, what are amphibians, what are herbivores, the similarities between humans and whales, the PET worksheets, the 星期五周报, the 5 elements of total defence... All these time handling, the tuitions, how to handle it when your friend dun wanna be ur friend, the pain-nopiano lessons, the violin lessons, the swimming lessons, the ballet lessons, CAs, the SAs, the CCAs, the punishment for not getting As... Within the short 6 years.
Then, as we get to Secondary schools, English broke up into English and Literature; Chinese words had 4 词语手册; Maths had A-Maths and E-Maths; Science had Chemistry, Biology and Physics; Social Studies had social studies and History; friends had guy friends, girl friends, platonic friends, ordinary friends, hi-bye friends..... All these within 4 years.
Jc life. Whoa. 9 subjects become 3 or 4.
Too bad, two term's worth of Chemistry lecture can be compared to one year's learning in Secondary school. Do the math yourself.
And we have less than 2 years to finish the syllabus.
Dun get me wrong. I'm not complaining; i'm perfectly ok with that. Its just that somehow, after spending 18 years rushing through your life, which has expectancy of about 80+, one really wonders why one is born. I'm not sure of the others, but i'm without a purpose. For 17 years i've rushed through my life without doing anything meaningful enough to tell myself I am ready to die anytime now. Maybe my direction had been wrong, all along, its like i'm living for my parents.
All lot of maybes. The only thing i can do is to do try to do something meaningful; a something that will make my existence worthwhile.
Until then. I guess i'll just get on with the rushing.
scribbled @10:06 PM;
